Tuesday, August 31, 2004

And here endeth another single Bank Holiday! Thank God there isn't another one until Christmas, and at least there might be something half decent on the telly then!

So what have I done with my day? Visited interesting places, had laughter, sun, company and too much wine? No! I've cleaned my oven, made Fish Pie, cleaned my fridge, thought about baking biscuits but found I was short of sugar, cleaned my kitchen cupboards, wormed and defleaed the cat, put a shiny new collar on him, hoovered and just when I was seriously thinking I was going to have to do the ironing (shock! horror!) I fell asleep on the sofa to the strains of Angela Lansbury and a broomstick! Woke up just in time to see Audrey Hepburn deliver my catch-phrase, " Take me for a drink and don't even think about bringing me home 'til I am very very drunk!" On which note I got in the car and drove to the off-licence.

It was closed so I took my chances and called on Clare, the only other single person I know was likely to have nothing whatsoever to do today - and what do you know, she hadn't, even her Harry Potter DVD was playing up. So we had a few coffees, exchanged mutually sympathetic thoughts on Lack of Sex in Lincolnshire, and then I came home.

Excuse me whilst I go and loll on my sofa until enough time has passed to go to bed and dream about all the things I could have been doing.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Lucky in love, unlucky at cards, or so the saying goes! Well, it might have some basis in truth if our efforts at backing winners has anything to go by - we did have one success, £8.50 on an each way bet on the third - lost about £60 overall though!

It was a lovely day, sun shone on my exposed breasts :-? I hadn't realized quite how much the new top gaped until I saw the look of horror on Jack's face when I got home. I hastily changed into a much safer V-neck to fetch the take-away and felt much more comfortable for the rest of the evening, lolling about on the sofa to the Buena Vista Social Club.

Anyway, he kissed me again as he left - and!!!!!! patted my bum as he kissed me. Was that a clandestine way of telling me it was ok that I did it to him last week? Is this going to be the longest game of sexual chess ever played out?

Friday, August 27, 2004

The workmen were in today doing some work on one of the offices in my new wing upstairs. I cheekily collared one of them as he was sawing some wood outside my office, to see if he could spare me a bit to prop open my window. I don't know if it was my winning smile or the fact that I was wearing a skimpy camisole under my suit jacket, which I had of course removed, it being so hot without an open window, but basically I now have 2 lengths of wood which will enable me to vary the height at which I prop it open, and what's more - he instructed me to act for him buying a house!

I also got a new client who is selling a house complete with peacocks! I feel a sight visit might be needed. I've always fancied peacocks wandering about our garden but my miserable grumpy old excuse for a stepfather refuses! So they make a bit of mess and peck your car if it's too shiny apparently ( a problem I'm rarely likely to encounter) but it would be fabulous, Darling!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Jesus! I got a promotion! Without any effort or enterprise! I really wasn't expecting this - it all happened since yesterday, just before lunch. I'm now the Probate/Floor manager. Not sure exactly what it will entail apart from more staff, more status, more pay and apparently not more work - and potentially a fab new car!

Well-timed as I appear to have just covered me local dealers pay-roll for the month! It went in for a simple crash repair - £350 later my tyres, brakes, oil and filters are ok! I hate it when they start needing maintenance- guess that's why I'm still single at 33!

But for how much longer? Hmmmm - I have a day at the Races booked for Saturday - followed by dinner - no invite to Best Mate's 50th the following day, but that's ok- big step like that would take a month of outfit planning - all you need to know is that things are looking fine and dandy, Just show me the wine and I'm already randy! Poor man! Hope he's taken his Sanatogen!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Jack's got a girlfriend! na na na na na! I've got a potential boyfriend! Tee hee hee!

Jack went AWOL tonight - Mum was very worried , having got to 9 o'clock and not hearing from him- Iwas slightly perturbed, having left my mobile at work with all possible contact numbers in it. Mum set out to drive around the streets, not sure what she was expecting to see - a Crack den, I think - I got online and within seconds had his new mobile phone number (thanks, Josh) - and had made contact - phew! disaster averted! Mum happy! Jack has a girlfriend!

So, Eva's back after a fab honeymoon, Jack swears they are just friends and he'll tell me if he gets close to becoming a man, and Chris kissed me! What are the chances of that happening?

Lovely day at the rugby - 64-6 to us -Result! Sun shining down all day, halter-neck held my tits up, and we enjoyed pizza whilst watching the Mens' 100m - Hollywood couldn't have done it better - they would have included a chase scene and some middle-distance thoughtful shots!

I have written 2 postings since I last blogged on Thursday and neither have saved. Fate, Karma, or is blogspot getting over-populated?

Thursday, August 19, 2004

I passed the interview! My new cleaner has offered me 3 hours a week! Yippee!! Somersault! I could almost be mistaken for Chinese gymnast if anyone up at the park saw me on the Monkey bars! I think it was the leopard-skin scrubbing brush and the promise of matching dustpan, brush and rubber gloves that swung it!

Mum wasn't so lucky. She can't fit her in just yet. I told her she needed to dejunk - starting with the StepMonster! I have graciously offered to share Yvonne once she has got me thoroughly bottomed (technical term) something I have struggled with most of my adult life.

I wasn't expecting to hear from Cute Suit today. He was playing with his friends. I imagine it very much as a scene from that Nigel Havers series - 4 successful men of a certain age on an away day, golfing, comparing swings, secretly checking out each others greying and white bits, openly mocking my cutey, far and away the most handsome and likeable of the lot, with his apparently adolescent ability to text but actually wondering who is responsible for the glint in his eye and the spring in his step - at least I hope he has one - I feel like I'm walking on air.

Jack delighted me today by completing both tasks that I had set him, or rather the Jack-shaped heap of bedding that grunted back at me as I left for work this morning. All the washing up was done, the food containers were in the bin rather than strewn across the kitchen, and he'd even picked all his dirty clothes off his bedroom floor and put them in the wash basket - and I didn't even have to leave a trail of fivers to help him find it!

He did point out that as he had spent the evening watching the footie rather than online, I should consider it phone credit I was using up - not much use to me when the only guy I want to talk to on the phone is conkering with his mates - but I appreciated the sentiment.

Eva, or should I say, Mrs Roger, is back from her honeymoon tomorrow. I expect to get a call on Friday while he's working to tell me all about it. She might remember to ask me how my car is after an hour or so - the shame of having to admit to driving a Micra, albeit on hire, it was bad enough suffering the laughs and taunts from the boys at rugby tonight - and Jack didn't even tell them to go pick on someone their own size! What's the point of having a tall broad son if he isn't going to stand up for you in the playground?

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Went on a sort of school trip today. Me and 2 of the other conveyancers met at the Boss' mansion at 8am and then set off en masse to Malton for the launch of one of our major introducer's online legal service. A room full of estate agents and mortgage brokers in a hotel overrun with old folk, smelling of cabbage (the hotel) is not easy on the eye or stomach before breakfast - how much make-up? how does streaked hair move in that direction? and that was just the men!!

I networked, did my bit, got a really tickly cough through the presentation, and then hoped for a detour to FlamingoLand or an impromptu lunch at the Rockingham Arms on the way back to Hull. The boss picked up on my hints, as I wowed over his SAT NAV and leather interior, but he was too eager to get back to the office and see how many new business emails were waiting for us.

So my afternoon was spent very productively, after treating myself to an Egg Mayonnaise sandwich ( Cheese Nazi is history!) making massive inroads into the 6 huge piles of files that 2 and a half days away from the office can generate - 68 emails, for goodness sake - no Spam! Just daft!

I did intend to go back after I shifted my car from the multi-storey but the heavens had opened on me as soon as I ventured forth outside the office and after 5 minutes driving around in circles trying to find a parking spot close enough to dash from I gave up and headed back home to pick up Jack sans Chinese much to his disgust.

I should have spent the night cramming for my Cleaner interview tomorrow - as always I left it 'til the last minute to think about painting the walls/ceiling, tiling the entrance porch and putting up curtains with more than 4 hooks on them - but it's too late now - and besides, I much preferred spending an hour or more on the phone to Cute Suit getting tips on what to wear for the interview, him having passed with First Class Honours.

I did pass something tonight - a jumper off the Humber Bridge - poor lad. There were police and CoastGuard helicopters and Launches everywhere - no sign of him though. The river was in full flow upstream so I guess he'll turn up on Read's Island in a couple of days, much better than getting washed out on a downward tide - I have had far too many conversations with the Coroner's Office!

Getting back to Cute Suit - his FDH has settled so no lunch Thursday, thought about inviting him to Castle Howard on Saturday but he's going to watch Liverpool so probably won't get back in time. I've been invited into the Directors' Box at the rugby in York on Sunday - might have a spare place so that's a possibility - but until then I'll just have to wait. I have a feeling he'll come up with something - he's got a day on the golf course in Harrogate tomorrow so I'm sure he'll get some inspiration - and I suspect i might get some texts! Tee hee!

Monday, August 16, 2004

What an absolutely Phenomenal weekend! Blazing sunshine, good company and Madonna!!!!

Wow! The woman is a living legend! 2 hours of thrilling, exciting, mesmerizing entertainment. Worth every penny of the £75 - I would have been happy to part with twice as much and still have felt I'd recieved value for money.

We had booked at last minute and found ourselves herded to seats way up in the Gods looking straight down onto the stage. We were quite happy and were busily congratulating ourselves at how lucky we were to even be there when we noticed a few people talking to a steward, apparently complaining that they couldn't see the screens and that they were being blinded by a floodlight pointing straight up at us. Lorraine went to see what all the fuss was about and 5 minutes later we found ourselves reseated to The Most Fabulous spot at the other side of the arena, on the first tier, aisle seats immediately in front of the Corporate Boxes and yards away from the front of the stage!!! What a fucking result!!!!!

Madge did not disappoint either - giving the performance of a lifetime - I cannot fault it in anyway shape or perfectly-formed thighs, ass and corsets! Best live entertainment I have ever seen. I urge you all to go if you get the opportunity.

Cute Suit rang me from his barbecue just as we were leaving Manchester, putting the icing on the cake. You can imagine how joyfully I danced about Lorraine's kitchen and verandah to the strains of the Goddess Ciccone-Ritchie 'til almost 5 am.

Today dawned (just before 11) in just as bright a vein, with a heavily-pregnant Ali, laid-back husband Keith and gorgeous cherub-becurled Ollie joining us for brunch. Lorraine and I then enjoyed a few lazy hours of sun on her balcony whilst rehydrating. As I carefully negotiated the M62, accompanied by The Immaculate Collection ( car making a very worrying metallic scraping noise whenever I steered left which I discovered as I pulled into Tesco's petrol station to pick up the Sunday paper, was caused by a nigh on shredded wheel arch) I recieved a welcome text from Cute Suit who had combatted his threatening hangover with a swift hair of the dog at lunchtime.

To cut a long story short (and I rarely do), I was invited over to enjoy a glass of wine and the late afternoon sun. I dashed in, had a shower, bunged some Carmens in, and picked out my most plunging summer frock, my sexiest Betty Boop stilettos and a set of the new underwear that I have recently found myself buying, and headed straight back out - all in less than half an hour - a feat that will not have gone unnoticed.

I've just got back. Left him still wanting more, I hope - at least, we still have a lunch date on Thursday and he did apologise for dragging me out to deepest Lincolnshire and has promised to be much more gentlemanly next time and do the driving!

I really really enjoyed his company and the opportunity to check out his pad. Very clean ( good sign seeing as how I've hired the cleaner he recommended) smart, stylish, private and room for a woman's touch. I didn't kiss him - I was driving so was very sober and I got to and in the car quicker than he - kicked myself a bit all the way home, not something I would recommend with a dodgy wing whilst chatting to Rachel without hands-free - but I think I've got his attention and I quite like the sense of courtship - as Rachel so graphically pointed out, by now it would normally all be over!

Saturday, August 14, 2004

People may scoff at my belief in Feng Shui. I admit that I do have some scepticism myself. So the fact that Cute Suit has invited me to a barbecue may or may not have something to do with the fact that I spent my day off decluttering my house.

I filled one and a half wheelie bins, ripped up the dreadful lino in my entrance porch, broke 2 nails and even cleaned out the fish tank. I also managed to find my Counterpart Driving Licence, MOT certificate and Insurance Policy. First time I've ever been able to lay my hands on all my documents first time without having to apply for duplicates.

I hope Michelle the Cleaner appreciates all my efforts and agrees to commence a relationship. I still have to sort out my wardrobe so that the doors will shut. To say I never have anything to wear, it sure takes up a lot of space.

I wasn't able to accept the invitation to the bbq - prior engagement with Madonna. He already knew that - so I'm wondering if he was just testing the water to see what my reaction would be - are men as devious as we women? I'm going to a concert at Castle Howard next week and then in the Directors' Box at the Rugby the following day. I can take a friend. I might ask him if he wants to come along. I can't stop smiling. It's been so long since I've had that warm glowy fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach - and it's sort of bubbling up and causing me to spontaneously sing and laugh. I even startled the cat yesterday.

I am in danger of becoming a happy person again.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

What I forgot to mention in the last posting was that Lorraine has actually managed to get us tickets for Madonna on Saturday night. That was the first call I took when I got home after my day of trauma.

I sat patiently waiting for my second call, but did not factor in Jack sitting chatting to his mate, Jess, who lives less than 200 yards away -" SIT ON THE GARDEN WALL LIKE ALL OTHER TEENAGERS" I thought about suggesting - but it was not necessary - he graciously relinquished his hogging of the phone line so I spent the rest of the night listening to the dulcet,nay "let me wrap you in velvet and ravish you til you steam" tones of Cute Suit - I have so not read the messages wrong!
I have a reputation for being late. I accept it is not without foundation but I am never late for important things - least of all not my best friend's wedding. Which is why I got up really early, had an eyemask and a cup of tea and then enjoyed a leisurely (sparkly-clean) shower.

I set off in plenty of time and was not even that concerned when I got stuck behind an old Astra following a HGV Training vehicle at 40 miles an hour for a good 20 miles or so on very bendy roads. I did keep looking for overtaking opportunities but they never seemed to appear, or at least not ones that I was prepared to take. I knew we were about to come up to a dual carriageway just after the next roundabout - I was quite happily going with the flow until the car in front of me suddenly veered across the road straight into the path of a large lorry coming in the opposite direction!!!

Fuck! Oh my God! It all happened so quickly but also in slow motion too - if that makes any sense - I saw her looking like she was overtaking, but there's a constant stream of oncoming traffic for fuck's sake!, saw the lorry start to swerve, but it just happened - nothing I could do - Bang!!! she hit his flank, bounced into the following van - I just braked and thanked the Lord that the wing that flew off her vehicle landed under my front end and not through my windscreen.

It all sounds so trivial when I repeat it to you - but it was one of the scariest moments of my life - and the next few hours were just surreal - I guess I was a bit shocked - I cried a bit -not easy to be standing beside the A1034 in a lilac corset dress in the middle of the afternoon - the army even drove past and offered to take me to my venue - but Eva would just have thought that I was trying to upstage her - I really did not want to do anything that would detract from her Big Day in any way shape or form.

I was desperately upset for letting her down - and although I know it was not my fault, I can't help thinking that it's just typical of me to be such a crap mate on the most important day of her life- I'd spent ages the night before planning a speech and had added to it onthe journey there, well at least as far as Market Weighton. I'm sure she'll thank me one day for not mentioning her veruccas.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Tonight is sort of an odd one.My best friend gets married tomorrow - which is good - but I'm worrying about her - not about the wedding but little things - like: is she nervous, has she got her ideas about her hair sorted out, will I be redundant when she's married? I've got a sort of quasi-poem penned, so I need fear not that she is too disappointed with the card - it ain't great or I would have typed it out for you - but it is personal and I did spend all night penning it.

I have absolutely no qualms about the guy she is marrying - he has done madder things and survived, even coming up smelling of roses - no, she's picked a good one- and I have no real worries about her if truth be told - she'll adapt, she's done it before, and she loves him, that's all that matters, at least at first, by the time they need anything else they'll have fought it out and she'll have won.

I'm just more conscious tonight than ever before that I'm now way down on her list of important people - it was easy before - in order of priority was her Mum, her Nana, me,( I think, depending on the situation), her other friends and then everyone else. Now there'll be Roger, then Stanley, then her Mum.........etc etc

I know getting married doesn't change anything at all about our friendship, but it does change her priorities - which again is good - I would want nothing less - and if there were no changes I'd have far more fears - I'm not talking about Eva at all - I'm talking about me - where do I fit into all this? what does the last single girl in a group of single girls do?

I have been quite excited about it until tonight, enjoying thepossibilty of flirting opportunities and being introduced to "His" mates at dinner parties, but now, and it is only just now, by tomorrow morning the realisation that I still haven't wrapped the present, filled up or washed the car and have no idea where the venue is, will have taken precedent, but who will I ring when I have some small news like " he texted me when I was halfway down the Debenhams escalator" or " he said Ditto on a text - what do you think that means?"

I'm just mourning the sudden passing of my safe single mate - it will soon pass - she will soon be ringing - I'll soon be invited to lots of hot gigs at the Comedy Store or there will be hell to pay - and all will live happily ever after in sickness and in health, humour and hopefully little sorrow.

I'm so proud of her. I always knew she was made of stronger stuff than the rest of us - but to jump in so far so soon - and to come up looking like Esther Williams says it all really.

I spoke too soon about the flipping weather. I had to glide to work this morning - and I live at the top of a hill! It meant I couldn't wear my beatiful new suede Hobbs mules - and the knob had dropped off the bottom of my cheap George alternatives so I have spent the day clicking about the place like a pirate with a metal leg. What's more the jolly shoe repair man in the market has just gone on holiday for 2 weeks so I guess I'll have to go shoe shopping - again - when all this rain stops.

I haven't had any success in getting rid of Jack - despite receiving some rather surprising, but very welcome help from an unexpected source for over 2 hours last night. Who would have guessed that Cute Suit has a secret desire to be a travel agent! He spent the time trawling the net for flights whilst I chattered away at the other end of his second phone line.

Now I know I have been capable of misreading signals in the past, but surely even I can't have got this one wrong. Would a guy who knows I have internet access both at work and home and am not afraid to use it, bother wasting his entire evening searching for ways and means of sending my son off to teenage bliss whilst filling me in on the last 8 years of North Lincolnshire LegalLand gossip, if he wasn't just a teeny bit interested? Christ! Did you see how long that last sentence was? That's legal drafting skills for you.

Anyway, we now have a return fixture planned - next Thursday. Thank goodness I have something (besides The Wedding of the Century) to look forward to - turns out all the tickets for Madge had sold out and the cottage in the Lakes is booked until the end of September.

Oh well, at least I'll still have some money left when I finally get round to taking the poorly car into the garage for a medical. Right! I am going to do the sensible thing and go to bed.zzzzzzz

Monday, August 09, 2004

I have achieved my goals this weekend. I have a fab wedding present sitting on my kitchen worktop - my freshly bleached and destained worktop that is.

I am also the proud owner of a sparkling and mildew-free shower - it took me an hour and forced me to shed all my clothes and get right into all the nooks and crannies but the grout certainly appreciates it - shame I'll be the only one to admire it. I am treating the house cleaning thing a bit like the Forth Bridge - a rolling programme with small sections targetted at a time - that way I won't get too daunted and give up at the first span (or dirty pan). At this rate my house might just be acceptable to my new cleaner when she comes to inspect week after next.

I haven't been so successful in purchasing tickets for Jack's trip to Spain - I am hoping the onset of the sunny post-rain weather will cause people to choose to holiday at home and drive the price of flights down. But the money I have saved on not booking plane seats has now been spent on Madonna tickets. I have promised Lorraine that i will not don a pointy bra and I shall also offer to drive so as to ensure there is no danger of me playing my ringtone along with her anthem. Christ! It's been so long that I really am feeling like a Virgin!

I have had a lovely sunny lazy weekend - Martin and Sophie turned up at the door at lunchtime - the second time in a week that he has surprised me. I was still in bed having over-indulged on the net again last night - so Jack had to relay messages through the bedroom door. We caught up with them a couple of hours later(well I had to shower, style hair and drop Byron home) in a sleepy village pub garden for sandwiches and a pickled egg - they set off for a few more hours of bicycling fun whilst Jack and I dropped in on Rachel, Steve and Callum - armed with a HoverDisc - I wanted to buy one for Jack but he was too grown up to accept it so I figured I'd get one for my next best GodSon - we even attempted 5 minutes of badminton - most exercise I've had in months.

So aims for the week? to be on time for work and The Wedding; find a cheap flight for Jack; check out the availability of my Boss' posh cottage in the Lakes and hope that Rachel & Callum can join me and Jack(assuming I have failed at task 2) and sort out my wardrobe so i can at least get the doors to close. My ironing mountain will have to wait for another week.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

It's the weekend - official! Nadia has won - I wept - fuck knows why - but I did! I thought my days of weeping at Andrex adverts was over but I guess I'm still soft. I have made a conscious effort to stay away from BB this year - I really am not in the slightest bit interested - but Jack kept coming through with titbits and I eventually succumbed.

Do not think for one minute that the new TV has anything to do with being able to watch the Final Eviction! Fuck! No! The Olympics and Restoration Final only!

I counted up what work I had left on my desk tonight when I sneaked off at 6.20 - 7 contracts to check (3 of them are big 'orrible ones) and 2 files from hell. That is the lightest my desk has been in the last 10 years at least - wish my scales would match it. I used to get anxious at this sort of time - that nobody wanted me and that I would be sad and redundant within the month - but I have learnt from experience that this time of year is always a bit slow and that it soon starts to flood back in when the hols draw to a close -it seems to have started, I've opened 9 new files in 5 days - that's far less than I was doing a few months ago - but much more manageable - especially with my super-duper Lisa.

So what do I have planned for the weekend? - absolutlely sweet FA - Result or what? I can sleep in without conscience - my wedding outfit is sorted and if worst comes to shove - I can always give Eva&Roger an IOU - I know exactly what I want to buy them - but having spent a few hours surfing the net and only finding the type of thing in the £150-800 price bracket, they might have to wait whilst I save up or think of an alternative. It will be fab whatever it is!

Thursday, August 05, 2004

What is going on here? I made a fab posting last night but it doesn't appear to have saved at all. Oh well - I can't remember what it said so it can't have been that great.

I had a day off today. Quick smell these salts!! I know - it came as a surprise to me too - but I thrive on spontaneity in small doses and as I was in very real danger of over-sleeping, I decided to spend some quality time=money with my son. We went shopping!

5 hours and a dozen or so bags later and we headed home with my 6 months supply of scented candles, new nail polish, a silver poncho - just in case I had to resort to the silver dancing shoes to go with my lilac corset dress for the wedding - and 2 purportedly expensive coats for Jack that we had snapped up for £75!

I wasn't content with that - I just had to call into all the shops that I knew would still be open when we got back home - and what do you know?! I got the perfect silk mules for my outfit - for just £6!!!! Ecstatic or what! and I even picked up a shawl in just the right shade of lilac so now I will be able to attend the wedding comfy in the knowledge that my hideously unattractive gnat bites are covered.

I didn't stop there - I bought a telly too - just 15 minutes before the store shut - Craig, the incredibly cool manager, who clearly had far more important things to do and was way too important to bother with eye-contact - casually slipped my card through the thingy - and dismissively told me it was rejected - then patronisingly suggested that I might have given him an old one - Tosser!

I, for once, calmly accepted it was a mistake - I really didn't like the way he called me "Miss" - not something I ever have a problem with -but from a 24 year old bum-fluffed shop assistant who then proceeded to call me "Love" - ffs - I sped round to the Morrisons cash point - checked my balance - phew! still healthy - and happily parted with £150 in return for my new 21" Nicam TV - teletext and everything - haven't had that before - I even bought a new hairdryer.

I would potentially have bought a Tumble Dryer and Fridge Freezer if Craig hadn't been a Wanker of The First Order. Mum has offered me her old F/F - bless her. What will I do to while away my nights if I don't have to chip ice off the inside door anymore? And I figure my new cleaner might be able to hang my clothes out so the T/D isn't a priority.

Lorraine left a message on the answerphone - looks like we might be going to see Madonna after all - just need to check out how expensive these flight tickets are going to be - and I am really starting to worry about the groaning sounds emitting from under my bonnet every time I turn the steering wheel - I can't turn the steroe any louder until my sinusitis has thoroughly cleared up.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

The week has started off well - my gnat bites are fading and don't make me look quite so much like a domestic violence victim, my bank balance has been refuelled, and all my friends are happy well and either expecting babies, recently married or about to be, even Marko has had a few days off work and has more lined up soon.

It's at times like this that I used to feel redundant - no-one wanting to pour out their souls or release vitriol, left me with time to ponder on my own shortcomings which would either cause me to take up knitting or spend even longer hours at work. I am now doing neither, although I do fancy I could knock up a rather stylish poncho if I set my mind to it.

I am actually enjoying the time to spend just reading, or dozing and even the opportunity to get away from work by 6.30! I left tonight with just 6, yes half a dozen, files to work on - it is almost unknown - ok - so I do have about 12 tapes waiting, all of which have about 20 files on them which will eventually find their way back onto my desk - but even so, it's pretty remarkable - hence I mention it.

I did almost have a confrontation with my Mum tonight - Jack had told her that I wouldn't go to Japan next year if her and John (aka Stepmonster) go - not quite what I had said - more that I had only expressed a desire to go when I thought they weren't - she wanted a chat about why - I was tired and can't get into deep mother-daughter heart to hearts at the best of times - I just denied it and smiled that of course I would love for us all to go as one big happy family - Lovely!

She didn't hang around so I think she was satisfied - I wish I could tell her that she isn't the problem - but where would I start? and how could I stop once started? Anyway - who will look after the cat and the fish and the dogs and the chickens and the ducks? Good job I persuaded her that I don't have to make a decision for at least another 9 months.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Was it really only Thursday that I made my last posting? So much seems to have happened.

Friday started very strangely - first time in over 15 years that I haven't been in control of my own completions - and I had loads - but my Able Assistant seemed to have everything in hand, so i started on my post about 8 hours earlier than usual - a good omen for getting away early that night for the Head's party. I made the foolish mistake of mentioning to the boss, just after lunch, that I was in danger of actually getting caught up to date and that he might want to think about sending some more work my way. Classic error!

By 2pm I was frantically trying to trace money from Bristol bound for South Africa, had the possibility of 2 families sleeping in a van with all their belongings (one of whom was an old friend and colleague), and a very handsome but slightly deranged control-freak of a first-time buyer threatening to carry out Ozzy Osbourne style abominations on my favourite(!) estate agent. All was well by 4.30! I have the organised regimentary skills of Montgomery when I sat my mind to it!

I left just in time to get home to change and head out to the Head's party - picturesque riverside setting, flowing wine and a hot-tub in the garden - where else would a stressed girl want to be on an evening? A few people did sample the relaxing wonders of the tub - albeit in small groups - I joined Jack. It was fab! The result being that we are getting one - a family decision was made - my mum and step-monster are paying!

Saturday was supposed to be rock-climbing day - I made a token effort by putting on trousers, tailored smart ones, but that's all I have, and high-heeled mules - I dropped Jack and his Japanese chum off and then made off to the shops before my client had chance to haul my ass in a harness 12feet above him - not a facet of myself that I relish him seeing.

It was a frantic race back home to get changed into a bustier and new beaded poncho and then off to Leeds for Eva's hen-night - a very sophisticated affair made all the more traditional with the addition of a flashing "Bride To Be Sash", some handcuffs, a few sorry foam sexy(?) images and a pop-up willy disguised as a bottle of Instant Erection pills! Classy, tasteful, discreet enough to have at the table in Leeds swankiest eaterie - but still in keeping with the hen-party theme. I hope she was pleased with the result, and appreciated that I could quite easily have opted for the full-on mega-vibrator and blow-up doll experience!

Today was our final good-bye to Leeds shopping, or at least the experience we have enjoyed for the last 4 years - get up late, take an age to have breakfast, hit the shops by about 2.30, get hot and tired with different agendas, find the Sunday papers and crash in a restaurant somewhere to sate our appetites and ease our feet - le Bistro de Jour being La Tasca, by the window in the afternoon sun.

I finally caught up with Jack by about 7 o'clock tonight - he's heading out to Spain in a couple of weeks - later than I had expected and probably means I won't develop the sudden urge to book a last-minute holiday to relieve my boredom, by the time I've noticed he's gone, Eva will be back from her honeymoon and will be on the phone to tell me off for choosing to wear a corset at her wedding!