Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Tonight is sort of an odd one.My best friend gets married tomorrow - which is good - but I'm worrying about her - not about the wedding but little things - like: is she nervous, has she got her ideas about her hair sorted out, will I be redundant when she's married? I've got a sort of quasi-poem penned, so I need fear not that she is too disappointed with the card - it ain't great or I would have typed it out for you - but it is personal and I did spend all night penning it.

I have absolutely no qualms about the guy she is marrying - he has done madder things and survived, even coming up smelling of roses - no, she's picked a good one- and I have no real worries about her if truth be told - she'll adapt, she's done it before, and she loves him, that's all that matters, at least at first, by the time they need anything else they'll have fought it out and she'll have won.

I'm just more conscious tonight than ever before that I'm now way down on her list of important people - it was easy before - in order of priority was her Mum, her Nana, me,( I think, depending on the situation), her other friends and then everyone else. Now there'll be Roger, then Stanley, then her Mum.........etc etc

I know getting married doesn't change anything at all about our friendship, but it does change her priorities - which again is good - I would want nothing less - and if there were no changes I'd have far more fears - I'm not talking about Eva at all - I'm talking about me - where do I fit into all this? what does the last single girl in a group of single girls do?

I have been quite excited about it until tonight, enjoying thepossibilty of flirting opportunities and being introduced to "His" mates at dinner parties, but now, and it is only just now, by tomorrow morning the realisation that I still haven't wrapped the present, filled up or washed the car and have no idea where the venue is, will have taken precedent, but who will I ring when I have some small news like " he texted me when I was halfway down the Debenhams escalator" or " he said Ditto on a text - what do you think that means?"

I'm just mourning the sudden passing of my safe single mate - it will soon pass - she will soon be ringing - I'll soon be invited to lots of hot gigs at the Comedy Store or there will be hell to pay - and all will live happily ever after in sickness and in health, humour and hopefully little sorrow.

I'm so proud of her. I always knew she was made of stronger stuff than the rest of us - but to jump in so far so soon - and to come up looking like Esther Williams says it all really.


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