Happy 60th Birthday Dad

Dust in My Eye

I was awoken by a mild trembling. It's not an unknown phenomenon in my bed, and has on occasion been much stronger and lasted significantly longer, though not for some time.

I immediately thought my ceilings were collapsing, or the hot water tank was about to come crashing on top of me, maybe the front of the house had fallen down.

It was some minutes before I realised I'd just experienced my first earthquake. It was some hours before I fell back to sleep.

( NB. The epicentre was approximately 15 miles away as the crow flies. I survived with a touch of post-traumatic stress disorder every time anyone comes up with an 'original' DidTheEarthMoveForYou gag).

Curiouser and curiouser

The winner of FHM's World's Sexiest Woman is set to be announced on April 24.

That's my birthday.

What a lovely day that will be.

In the Last Three Weeks...

I've spent a weekend in Birmingham on a housing conference.

I've seen Van Morrison and Morrissey in the same week, the former on a free Press ticket. I've written my first music review which will be published next month. The review written by the proper journalist I went with was rejected. I tried not to feel ever so slightly smug. Beginner's luck.

I've had a perm. It was very hard trying to find an afro comb. I had to go back to 1988 before they were in stock.

I've been to the pictures twice. I've had 2 Board Meetings and a smear test.

I'm on the back of the local free Arts mag this month. I'd have changed the names of the real friends I'd written about if I'd known they'd use it. There can't be too many Candice's with big tits in Lincolnshire.

I've got plaster on my walls. That temporarily was at the expense of electricity which managed to become disconnected during the plastering process. All utility services are now fully functioning.

I have partial flooring and beautiful laminate in my conservatory. There is a very good chance I may have furniture by Easter.

I have had a couple of dates and another on Friday. I have a writing tutorial tomorrow. That is quite possibly the most significant meeting of all.

I have had a DVD of 32 Morrissey videos lovingly made for me by a chap who really needs to get out of his flat more. It came in the post yesterday. I was thrilled.

I won my first ever eBay auction. I am now the proud owner of a Vintage Deluxe Scrabble set.

I have a rugby pitch to shiver beside this evening.

I have taken over the running of the comedy clubs. Jon's moving to Manila. He tried extreme internet dating and liked it. I'll be in Hull, Louth, Doncaster, Thirsk, Scarborough and possibly Durham.

I have to find a way to eat, sleep, shop and iron whilst driving.

Any suggestions?

No Coincidence?

Surely the headline can be no coincidence on the day I decide to mothball the blog, having just had one of the most exciting months of my life with absolutely no inclination to post about it.

Cherrypie soars up World's Sexiest Poll.

Of course I haven't been posting. I've got votes to earn.

Incessant Insomnia

I had a wonderful night's sleep. I was out within seconds of my head hitting the pillow shortly after midnight and I didn't wake up once until Jack kissed me goodbye at 7.30am this morning.

I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when I answered the door to a delivery man 15 minutes later, oversaw the deposit of a ton of wood, insulation and plasterboard on my front garden and at my desk an hour after that.

20 minutes later Jack passed his driving test.

I will not be sleeping for the foreseeable future.

Wails and Woahs

My favourite married man got a conscience for Christmas. Consequently, I got dropped.

I've taken up dolphin training. It's incredibly distracting and quite addictive.

Did you know dolphins are closely related to rabbits? Only waterproof.