I've dusted off my Bet Lynch earrings, dug my WonderBra out of the bottom of the drawer and made my return to bar-maiding. It's only intended to be a temporary thing, helping Shelley out while she looks after a pub for a month but already someone else has taken my number to pass onto another local Landlord so there's a good chance that it might last a bit longer - about 30 years would be good, just to see me through the rough years of mortgage repayments.

I quite enjoyed it, being out in public having the semblance of a social life that is, without feeling guilty about squandering away the leccy money. The odds looked pretty good too, just me, Shelley and one other barmaid with about 30 customers, all male, on the first night. That was until a closer inspection revealed that at a rough count there were only about 20 teeth between the lot of 'em. I don't think I shall be finding my future husband amongst these punters. There's the odd good looking one that wanders in but invariably, been there done that years ago, when I was much slimmer and prepared to let a bloke within 50yards of my wobbly bits.

Anyway, my first month of home ownership is drawing to a conclusion and remarkably I still have a credit balance in my bank account, albeit incredibly small. My car is still struggling on although I really must remember to pick up some oil, I keep thinking I've left an indicator on every time the oil light flashes on the dashboard. The house has not yet been burnt down by Jack and his mates and the neighbours are still talking to me. I've even managed to have a salad for lunch for the last 2 days and my waist band is feeling a bit looser despite still not having got closer to the exercise bike than the conservatory sofa.

Things are looking pretty good at the minute.

We're in and have so far managed not to be repossessed. That's no mean feat after a full 2 weeks!

I've been very cautious about spending money. I'm rationing Jack to one candle a week with which to do his homework and half an hour of television on a Friday night to see who gets evicted from Big Brother. Other than that only my tooth brush and the fridge are consuming electricity. Expect infrequent blogs from now on.

Jack's finally realised that he has to start helping around the house and that leaving a trail of sodden towels and discarded clothes from the front door to wherever he may happen to have reached ( it almost always follows the same path up the stairs, into the bathroom, through to his bedroom, back out to the computer room lingering around the electric socket and then continuing dejectedly to the fridge, back to the sofa, back to the fridge, out to the gym and then sometimes culminating back at the sofa and almost always returning to the fridge at least 4 more times, all before 7.30pm) is not sufficient.

He called tonight to tell me he had done the washing up for me as soon as he got home, with the added caveat that he couldn't manage the pans 'cos they were too big ( this from a young man who is a good 6 inches taller than me, can throw a shotput about 15m and has a voice almost as deep as Barry White), the cheese grater was too complicated and he was worried about breaking the glasses, from which I can just about deduce that he's washed up the bowl that he had his breakfast in and perhaps the teaspoon I stirred my tea with this morning - oh well! It's a start, I'm not complaining, I was very effusive with my praise, don't want to undo all the good work.

I suggested he put some washing in the machine instead, when the loud wailing stopped we finally settled on him sorting it into piles of whites and coloureds - he was afraid anything more than this could lead to irreversible damage to his prized designer clothing. He's starting to learn my tactics, praising me for my stain-busting abilities, much better than his Grandma's!

Right! Dashing off home, to MY home that is, the home I actually own. Surreal!

I have been thinking about using the gym every night after work - I'm usually too tired by the time I get home and end up curling up in the conservatory with a book and a chilled bottle of wine until the candle flame gets too low by which to read by, but at least I am still thinking about using it, that's 2 whole weeks now, and I may even try to get the mildew out of my exercise gear so that if I do ever make it as far as the exercise bike adn the pilates ball, I will be assured of dazzling whites!

Did you see the headline on Yahoo! today? " House Prices at a Nine Year Low"

Typical! The day before I move. Well, the day before my mortgage interest starts and my Dad turns up on his rare day off to help me move my furniture and I panic and leave anythig else that won't fit in my car.

Noon tomorrow! That's when the keys are handed over. I've already phoned Bernie and begged him to stay and help me with the mortgage repayments. He seemed to quite like the idea. Hope he realised I was only joking ( or was I?) He also told me about a mate of his who is also about to move and may have some gym equipment for sale - help keep my Pilates ball and yoga may friendly in the huge expanse of exercise room. ( Wonder whether he's taken all the mirrors? Could double as a fetish room, is in the back of my mind).

Rachel's been and helped tonight. She was a Star and I'm sure has dashed back to her sanitary home for a long shower in her new and improved bathroom and scrubbed her kitchen floor whether it needed it or not. I'd still have a kitchen full of stuff if it wasn't for her - now I just have a kitchen half full, and a bedroom, junk room and 2 of Jack's bedrooms - good job Mum's not got someone moving straight in.

I may be gone for sometime unless the local Junior School send their Class 3 on a school project to reconnect my computer at the other end.