It appears that the lads had got their heads together and decided to have some fun whilst we grown-ups were out partying without them. I rolled home to find a rather affectionate and clearly pissed young man waiting to hug me. I sent him to bed and set about discovering the source of his sauce.

I knew there was nothing in my kitchen that could have caused that, but I did spot a can that clearly originated from his Grandad's stash in my bin - but what were all those pink splashes on the kitchen work surfaces? And would 1 can of extra-strength have made that much damage so quickly?

Clock the empty bottle on the side. The daft apeth had only downed the best part of a bottle of Angostura Bitters! At this rate he'll be tea-total by the time he's 16! Mixed it, albeit strongly, with a litre bottle of Coke. I couldn't wait for his hangover - and took great delight in warning him how poisonous AB can be when not diluted sufficiently.

Needless to say he was not looking too chirpy at the prospect of driving a forklift in a confined space next day. I could have offered him a lift, but he resolutely mounted his bike - maybe the work ethic has got through at some level. And he even tidied his bedroom when he got back! He must have been feeling poorly and in need of some TLC.

I administered aspirin with a short reprimand and a reminder where the cleaning cloth is kept - and then merrily sauntered onto my dating site. I was just picking up messages but all these people started to talk to me - I'm polite to a fault - know how hard it is to be rejected - although I draw the line at Morroco - not sure why, but I do. And before you knew it,I had a number of would-be suitors clamouring at my profile.

I could pretend I got overwhelmed and went to bed - but no - I stayed the course - not something one should ever do on a school night - but the result is another potential date.

Goodness me! Forget the cleaner, I need someone to sit on me at weekends and stop me doing daft things. But until they do, I'm on the up.