I spoke too soon about the my support staffs' taste. I turn my back for 5 minutes, whilst I gently cajole our fabulous office manager into bringing my sweet new team-member, Louise, a tower to attach to her monitor - and what do you know - she's trailing tinsel everywhere!!! The stylish red ascending-sized baubles have been replaced by trashy purple and silver foil snakes all over the mantel-piece, the desks, the door-frame - I came over all Marley as I prevented them going around the filing cabinets. I will not stretch forth over tinsel for anyone!

I hastily beat a retreat to Bar Humbug fromst whence I could be heard shrieking down the phone to our elusive Pimpernel of an excuse for an office manager to bring her something upon which to work, and quick, before I strangled her with Christmas Tinsel!

It worked - within minutes he was setting her up and I was enjoying a camomile tea in my stark stylish office with only a few scented candles, glossy bushy plants and a rather lovely family group of ornate indian silver elephants to distract me from the busy office next door.

I used the time well and completed all my tasks within a remarkably short period, even allowingmyself the opportunity to check my bank statement and work out a budget for the coming season. I now have a number of options.

1. Buy presents and cancel all the invites that I've rashly accepted and forego a washing machine until next Summer

2. Buy presents, accept all the invites, live like a recluse between Christmas and New Year and get a Washing machine next Autumn

3. Buy presents, cancel invites, buy washing machine and starve until the end of January.

4. Fuck the presents,cancel all social engagements between now and Easter 2005, buy washing machine and start New Year on an even keel.

5. Fuck the presents, fuck the washing machine and party like there was no tomorrow.

Answers on a postcard..........................