Saturday, November 13, 2004

So I'm sitting looking at my spare ticket wondering what on earth I should do with it. Perhaps I should have put it on eBay.

" One ticket for a Charity Ball. Sumptous surroundings, good food and wine, dancing 'til late. Comes complete with a presentable female companion who may not be wearing glass slippers but is sure to have fab shoes and isn't looking for a fairytale or indeed anything heavy. Bidders do not have to hold the title of Prince Charming but must be able to enjoy some company once every week or so, capable of holding a conversation and throwing in the odd witty quip, like a bit of spontaneity occasionally, and own his own or have access to a Tux at short notice - oh! and have his own teeth and hair, although this is only desirable, not essential criteria."

I doubt I'd even get a bid. Believe me, I've tried everything I can think of - I've emailed every available man I know across the entire country, honestly, I've pleaded with all my female friends, I looked at the friendly tollman on the way home tonight and it flicked into my mind but even I'm not that desperate. I've stooped to threatening my own son!

Talking of whom, he's dining out tonight, Boo's 15th birthday, 30 of them are having a curry. Cost me about £30. He'd planned to go paintballing tomorrow for another friend's birthday which stands to be about another £50. He fails to see why I should expect him to forego his paintballing when I've had a call telling me he can start his job a week early, 9am tomorrow.

He has not inherited my work ethic!

I've basically told him that if he goes to work, I will cover his lost deposit at paintball and pay for both him and Drew to go another weekend, I will more importantly excuse him from the humiliation of having to escort his haggard old mother to a function. He's opted for the paintball!
And still refuses to don a Tux for his mum.

Do Moss Bros have a Platinum Service where they provide the suit and the guy? He doesn't have to be cute, that would just be the icing on the cake.


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