The quiz was cancelled. I was initially a bit disappointed as I was looking forward to having the appearance of a social life even if it was with the man that disembowled a pregnant rat before my very eyes when I was a lefty Veggie. Come to think of it, he tried to get me to cut into an eyeball once and also disected a pig's heart and I'm sure there was something awful with frogs which was too gruesome for my memory to retain. More importantly I was grateful of an excuse to get off my sofa and away from the wine bottle. It hasn't done me any favours these past few days - the type of mate I tell Jack to avoid.

So after spending the day tootling (the Speed seminar is still very fresh in my mind) around the locality rounding up raffle prizes, I made one last call to my old mate, Richard who'd promised to rustle up a few bits and pieces.

Talk about gobsmacked! I was expecting the odd signed rugby ball ( I wasn't disappointed, Leeds Rhinos right after they played in the cup match - but I'm a Union girl so I'm not sure if they won) and a few signed photos of Emmerdale stars (strangely, the one of Patsy Kensit was missing - I must remember to ask Jack to look out for it when he starts his Saturday job at Richard's company). I didn't in a million years expect a Newcastle United shirt signed by the entire team including Shearer and Bobby Robson! So imagine how delighted I was with that and another framed shirt which Alan had signed just last weekend!!!!

"Best Wishes for your Ball, Cherrypie - if you need a date, just give me a call! Alan Shearer"

Ok - so maybe he didn't have the room to write all that but the 2 words on each wing were there.

It doesn't stop there - he's also got a signed shirt from our local team (they sent me a signed ball last year so I'd not had the nerve to contact them again) and a squash racquet signed by the reigning World Champion! And he dropped into the conversation that he can get corporate hospitality at Leeds Rhinos! At which point I told him enough was enough and perhaps we could keep that one for ourselves!

Having loaded up the car, I then made a circuitous journey home, via a Newcastle United season ticket holder. His reaction convinced me that these are far too good to raffle to Bleaktown folk. I'm thinking put one in, they're expecting it - but try the other on eBay. I could hold viewings in my lounge in the hope that at least one of the fans turns out to be attractive and single! I'm obviously falling short on selling points myself so I can do with all the help I can get!

It has crossed my mind that I could try contacting Enfield( I think I mean Anfield but you know where I'm thinking) or Ping to see if they can donate anything but then I'd never be sure if it was me he really liked!

So pretty productive day all round - £100 vouchers for Wow Acres (the frommagier is a past client and newly-single - it crossed my mind to ask, at least I know he has a Dinner Jacket), membership of Sherwood Spruce, some wine (for the raffle - not self-consumption), Christmas present of a course of golfing lessons for Jack( I met the man himself, if he teaches how to hold a club as well as he shakes a hand, Jack will be the next Tiger Woods), tea and teacakes with my cleaner, tea, dress discussion and ickle baby Michael cuddling with Candice, tea and rugby chat with Di and Kath, tea and Monster stories from 3-year old Max whilst collecting fab raffle prizes, tears from Steve when he saw me drive off with the coveted NUFC shirts, and no time spent obsessing on the sofa!

If I'd known how great it is to take time off just to drink tea, I'd have done it ages ago. Who needs a reason for being off work? Who needs a destination or a companion? Who really needed a break before she broke?