Sunday, November 07, 2004

I discovered a way to overcome my morbid fear of Bonfire Night a few years ago. Just serve Hot Dogs to 5000 hungry people and you'll soon forget the bangs and potential to be permanently maimed.

I think my phobia stems from a couple of things - firstly, I have a very vivid memory (and a very slight scar to prove it) of my little sister sticking a lighted Sparkler on my thumb when I was about 3. Secondly, my folks used to organise a Village Bonfire and firework display when I was a kid, and for weeks before, the large wooden crates containing the evil explosives would be stored in our disused shop, the room we used as a playroom. It was instilled into me to stay away from them as they were extremely dangerous so when I was later dragged to the top of the hill to be confronted with my Dad and all the grown-up men I knew and respected in my entire world setting them off, I was naturally terrified for their lives. The rest of the evening would be spent with me screaming blue murder until some poor unsuspecting grandad (once Old Mr Wells) would sit me calmly in his car where I couldn't hear the bangs, smell the sulphur and start to calm my sobs. All went well until a stray rocket landed on the roof of the car and that was me off again, screeching louder than anything Taiwan could try and compete with. I couldn't be pacified until I was given all the gloopy dregs from the bottom of the Tomato Soup pan - something I still crave and was very grateful for last night - bless him! The chap at whom I'd been screaming all night for more soup saved me his scrapings - yum!

So today I have been mostly learning about Speed and its consequences - very thought-provoking and quite moving, obviously in a slow, controlled way, remembering to use mirrors at all times. I have attached my key-ring to my keys and shall give a knowing nod to any other secret member of the exclusive club to which I now belong that I meet - they too saved £10 and 3 endorsement points.

I had decided yesterday that I had done as much as was necessary to absolve myself of any guilt over the situation that has manifested itself between Cute & I, so it will come as no surprise to you that the first thing I did upon waking at 6.30 was to send him an email!! I'm starting to irritate myself let alone all the lovely friends who have suffered me so I have done the next best thing - shopped! Albeit for groceries, but did I really need £200-worth? I'm just showing off 'cos I finally got round to defrosting the freezer so now I can fit more than an ice-cube bag in it.

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