I spent Saturday in crisis, not helped by the fact that as I drove Jack to his paintballing, I passed Cute sitting at the traffic lights on the way into the office. I hadn't put any make-up on but fortunately, had donned my Jackie-O sunglasses.

I popped to see Paul and Candice and had a cuddle with ickle baby Michael. At least one young man seemed delighted to see me and flirted with me outrageously. Then feeling a bit glum, I took the ridiculous step of calling round to see Marko. He has the ability to piss me off when I'm in the best of moods so when I'm feeling distinctly miserable this is tantamount to self-harm!

We actually had quite a pleasant day - pub lunch, bit of shopping, I even measured for new curtains and flooring in my entrance porch. I didn't buy anything as I have finally realised that retail therapy is only a temporary fix and ultimately causes more damage - I'm cured! Hallelujah!

I received unprecedented attention from the new Club President this morning - very surprising and not entirely welcomed but reassuring that I'm not hideously repulsive to all the male species. Rachel called to invite me to meet them for lunch, which I did, although as I'd indulged in a Full English as soon as I'd got to the Club, I just had a Diet Coke. They came back for a cup of tea and continued to apply a calming salve to my tender ego.

Finally I switched on my PC intending to pour my pitiful heart out on here. And there it was - shining like a beacon - an email from Cute - Hallelujah! Praise be to the Lord! My frown, headache and craving for Minstrels have all disappeared. I am now involuntarily practising my symmetrical twirling.