Four Days and a Douche

I wish my short foreign trip had been half as exciting as imaginations would have had it. I was in a strong rugby area, very close to Perpignan and Beziers but I didn’t get so much as a whiff of wintergreen let alone a warm, moist jock strap. I might have made a more concerted effort if I thought Mrs. Roger's mother, my travel companion, would have been happy to amuse herself of an evening.

Hertz had very kindly programmed the radio for me

Instead, I sampled Cassoulet and Orkina Sabatier in Carcassonne, tasted eponymous sausages in Toulouse, nougat in Narbonne, a very lively Blanchette di Limoux within metres of its vineyard and ultimately exceeded my luggage limit with cheese, wine and foie gras.

The view from my hotel room window in Carcassonne

I watched flamingos pirouette in the Etangs, while a couple of very large, completely unidentified birds of prey circled above the enigmatic ruins of Peyrepeyteuse. The wild boar kept out of my path on the twisting wooded roads of the Corbieres forest but I did disturb a lone badger, the only other living thing out after dark for miles around. I think the last tourist had turned the lights out as they left at the end of October. It was bliss.

My schoolgirl French served well, even allowing general conversation over and above the usual retail exchanges as fortunately no-one asked me my age. I doubt I'd have got away with " J'ai onze ans", my imprinted response.

We stayed in the most amazing 12th Century castle for the first 3 nights. I won't say where exactly. Anyone outside Europe would struggle to believe something so perfect, romantic and evocative could exist outside Disneyland, and anyone else would be close enough to take advantage of such a fantastic discovery ( 45 Euros, bed and homemade breakfast for 2 per night, 25 Euros for a gourmet dinner including wine and liquers) and hike up the prices before I have the opportunity to return.

The biggest lesson I learnt from this trip is one which any aspiring traveller would do well to heed. When using a public toilet, the modern, self-cleaning type beloved of town planners, do not open the door to speak to your friend until after you have made full use of the facilities and are ready to exit. I spent an entire afternoon sightseeing, looking as if I'd used a car wash, without a vehicle.