Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Beep! Beep!

" I'm a natural." His little face beamed at me, eyes shining brightly, crooked grin reaching from ear to cauliflower ear.

" I changed gear perfectly and he only had to correct my steering once..." he skirted past the fact that this point happened right on Roxby Bends, the most notorious stretch of road in the county, the very road I have tried to drum into him is a killer and must be avoided at all costs, even if it means a 10 mile detour. Now I learn his instructor is actively encouraging, nay praising his early sallies along it.

I smiled as I heard all about his first driving lesson. I remembered the thrill and excitement of my own. I'd had a very similar experience, taking to driving almost as naturally as I learnt to read, instinctively knowing what to do and when to be doing it, only a little bit faster and for longer than anyone else. It was only a matter of weeks before my instructor, a sour Catholic woman called Maura who disapproved of me being on the Pill and probably just wanted to get such a vile creature out of her car as quickly as possible, put me in for my test.

Despite this innate flair, I still managed to crash into a lamppost on my driving test. It has taken 19 years to be able to relate that story without crying. Don't expect any further details.

There are some friends, who having secretly laughed about it for years, are finally under the impression that's it's ok to discuss it with me. It is, just don't ever ask me for a lift.

I am sure Jack won't suffer the same fate. It was all the sun's fault and it doesn't look like we'll be seeing any of that for some time to come.


Blogger ziggi said...

I won't ask (snort) I'll just add that although it was not on my test you'll be very surprised to know that I have hit a lamppost as well (as many other things)

6:00 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

and some of them whilst driving!

6:01 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

you what, you crashed into a lamp post on your driving test? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry CP owe you a drink for that

9:58 pm  
Blogger kj said...

cp, i hit a trashcan backing up and it crashed, rumbled and rolled all the way down the hill. i flunked the drivers' test and stopped at the drugstore before heading back to high school. i put a gauze patch over one of my 16 year old eyes and told everyone they wouldn't let me take the test because of eye problems.

another true confessions finally released....

(good luck to jack)


6:29 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Having driven with you, I confirm that everything you say is true. I refuse to say anything else on the grounds of self-preservation.

7:38 am  
Blogger Cream said...

I hate lampposts, bollards, raised kerbs, trees, parked cars...
No, I don't hate them. I think they hate me!

8:34 am  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Driving skills are a genetically inherited you have any contacts at Lloyds of London?

I flew over a train track while having an LSD flashback on my first go...apparently the Instructor retired the next day.

5:04 pm  

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