Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Stiff Upper Lip

I had a facial booked on Friday. I was looking forward to the chance to lie in a darkened room having my cheeks stroked with scented unguents. In the event, I offered it to Jack to take his mind off his recent rejection. He readily accepted. He's in touch with his feminine side. I'm not certain it made him feel any better but his skin glowed.

A few days later I found myself lying on a crowded beach. A bulldog was approaching, his face at my level as I rested on my elbows letting the sun soak into my back. He came closer. I didn't attempt to move out of the way. I like animals and they seem to like me. This one was no exception.

As he drew level with me, he gave me the wettest, slurpiest lick with his sand-covered tongue from the tip of my nose, across my sunglasses to my right ear. It wasn't exactly the sort of exfoliation I'd originally planned but a kiss is a kiss. I've got to get them where I can.


Blogger sally said...

blech...dog germs...and all over your face no less.

I like dogs, but...BLECH!

2:21 pm  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

Did you adhere to Lady Hillingdon's advice to close your eyes and think of England?
Bulldogs are afterall disturbingly Churchillian... all they need is a little bowler.

Don't fret about Lucy Van Pelt's 'UGH DOG GERMS!' because dogs carry species specific germs that don't transfer to humans...usually.

Now I can't get Brad (Mickey)Pitt's classic line from Snatch out of me 'ead!

"D'ya like degs?"

6:11 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

you and my daughter both french kissing canines - you have to be under 40 doncha?!

and believe HE - once both one of my dogs and I were prescribed the same antibiotics cos both of us had lost our bark!

6:18 pm  
Blogger Cream said...

Who is that said "The more I know about men the more I like dogs"?

Did you kiss him back, Cherrybabes?
Might've been a Prince...

9:18 pm  
Blogger Ces said...

Are you kidding!? I would have died! I think dogs know who they can kiss and who they can bite...I don't want to know which one I am.

12:35 pm  
Blogger Within Without said...

Well I assumed on your long absence from the Great Blog Divide you had found a handsome prince.

But if you're still taking licks and kisses from strange bulldogs on the beach, I guess not.

I hope it was wet and wonderful...


2:04 am  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

my kids keep on at me to get another dog but the thought of being licked by a bitch after it has had its tongue up its own arse is less than attractive!

11:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kiss aside, would you recommend it as an exfoliation method? I am looking a bit winter weary and have a bag of builder's sand and a dog!

4:26 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

I hope you are both very happy together.

7:58 am  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home