Magnificent Edifice

I have an appetite for Hungary. It is delicious. The food is hearty, well-cooked and honest. The architecture is grand whilst humbly crumbling. The people are warm, friendly and, in many cases, freakly odd-looking. I'd be quite a catch in Budapest, if only by dint of the fact that I have all my own limbs, teeth, hair and a full compliment of senses.

I tried going native. That is, I visited the Széchenyi Baths, the Magyar equivalent of Parisian cafes. The entire Hungarian population decants here to chat, play chess, have a massage, often surreptitiously from what I have read but fortunately, the combined effect of the steam and lack of contact lenses prevented me from confirming this first hand, as it were. The whole scene is almost balletic. Saint-Saens' Carnival of the Animals kept running through my head.

Powerful jets whoosh the heavily-mineralised, naturally hot waters about, leaving me glaze-eyed and my swimming costume stretched out of shape. The follow-up massage was more matter-of-fact than made to relax. It was so good, I went back for another the following day.

I may return next year.

Jack, meanwhile, admired the architecture of Amsterdam. He described the tall, gabled buildings, complete with winch hooks perfectly, the design choices in their hotel, the large windows. He was less forthcoming on how his friend, Rob, whose 18th birthday had prompted the trip, came to have ' The End' written upon his chest in black marker. It appears that one doesn't need limbs in Holland to hold a pen.

Jack will definitely be back.