Sunday, February 25, 2007


Can you get prescription swimming goggles? I wondered about this as I shared the pool with the Gillingham football team, who were staying at the hotel on Friday night. I would like to take credit for slowing them down sufficiently to be beaten 3-1 by The Mighty Iron*. I'd like to, but I can't.

They'd limped back to Kent by the time I dove back into the pool on Saturday night. There was just me and one other regular. He's there most nights and often just the 2 of us are left ploughing back and forth when most others have long since resumed their Lives. It seems we were the only 2 without better things to do that night.

I love talking to him. I'd flirt were it not for the puce face ( too long in the sauna), hair plastered to my head and the harsh realities of a bathing suit - there's nowhere to hide in one.
I spent a particularly long time chatting on this particular occasion and discovered to my delight that he's unattached. I think my pupils may have dilated slightly as I gracefully launched myself into another lap, savouring this joy and using the possibility of drowning to hide my excitement.

I was still smiling to myself as I headed home, where I dashed upstairs to change into my pyjamas. It was there that the smile froze on my face. As I pulled my new cashmere sweater over my head, I saw with horror what appeared to be the blackest, hairiest armpits one has seen this side of Germany since Nina performed '99 Red Balloons' on Top Of The Pops. The cashmere had shed fibres. I wept.

* Scunthorpe United Football Club, currently riding 7 points clear at the top of the league table and pushing for promotion to the Championship. Apologies for the sudden and gratuitous sporting reference. I shall try not to do it again.


Blogger andrea said...

Fill that glass half full, my sweet: you actually HAVE a cashmere sweater! :) (And maybe he likes 'em rough'n'ready anyway...growl...)

11:05 pm  
Blogger Joyce said...

REAL men don't let a little cashmere fuzzy scare them off. Black fuzzy says: "confident, strong, worth fighting for" in OUR country. :)

12:33 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Is dove the past tense of the verb to dive? I always thought it was dived.

Or perhaps you were making graceful, bird-like swoops into the water.

7:47 am  
Blogger Pete said...

football? I am surprised at you CP!!

9:43 am  
Blogger Cream said...

Scunthorpe? Ahhh....
How about 18 unbeaten games, eh?

We ARE top of the League, We ARE top of the League...

9:46 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

ditto what Andrea said!

Anyway it probably only stuck to you afterwards because you were slightly damp!

6:29 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

or sweaty


6:30 pm  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

Don't believe Joyce..

to a regular bloke black fuzzy armpits suggest that this 'lady' may very well be of an indeterminant sexual origin,

and that she has a predilection for administering mediaval gadgetry designed by the Spanish Inquisition to extract confessions, to your delicate DNA retention unit, while she supervises unaturally prolonged acts of carnality ...

it also guarantees that you are moments away from awkwardly gazing at an all but impenetrable gigantic hedge against inflation down in the netherlands.

7:15 pm  
Blogger Within Without said...

Just tell him the pool operators sent you a letter, after your inquiry, suggesting there was a strange fungus in the water that week that only affected women, and just so.

Then, whilst doing laps this week, make sure you always surface for air facing him, making your completely shaven under-arms more than visible.

And you might have to do the backstroke and butterfly, just to make your point.

1:51 am  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

You've know idea how glad I am to know that these things don't only happen to me! Not that I've been through the cashmere armpits scenario (sounds like some kind of fetish, dontchafink?) but there have been more than a few embarassing moments.

Raise a glass for embarassing moments! If it weren't for them, what the hell would we look back and laugh about?

1:58 pm  
Blogger Mise said...

Don't worry,Cherry. I'm sure he never took his eyes off yours. :D

11:53 pm  
Blogger kj said...

i can't sympathize. i can only think of how long it's been since i've seen your avatar on my blog.

i am feeling sorry for myself. it's all about me. except i admit i know you are capable of rising above a black fuzzy here and there.

12:11 am  
Blogger krusty the baker said...

I've expressed my thoughts about black fuzz elsewhere. Suffice to say that one of the reasons I've not been here for a while is the pursuit of aforementioned fuzz...

Go for it, girl. Black fuzz indeed says 'confident, strong' etc. Strong enough for strong verbs, eh Dave?

8:02 pm  
Blogger Cream said...

Cherrybabes, where are you?
Missing you loads!

12:40 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

I expect she's sneaked off to Hungary, and forgot to wave goodbye.

5:23 pm  
Anonymous tinypopcorn said...

Ah... the joy of flirting! =)

6:03 pm  
Blogger -Princess Shin- said...

Your blog is very sweet. Keep it up! =)

6:06 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home