Sunday, January 07, 2007

It's life, Jim

I can hardly believe it's over 6 years since I last did it. I'd almost resigned myself to never doing it again. I did my best to put all thoughts of it to the back of my mind, successfully most of the time, comfort eating being a significant substitute activity.

There was a time when I couldn't get enough of it, some would say I was addicted. 7 days a week, for at least an hour and a half a time, sometimes twice a day. I was insatiable, pushing on, harder and harder til I felt the delicious burn deep inside, my breath coming short and rapid, beads of sweat forming on my back and top lip, enjoying the sensation of blood pumping around my body, feeling alive, invigorated as I twisted and contorted into shapes I can hardly contemplate now. Supple was not the word. I could have cracked walnuts with my thighs.

There was no decisive finale, no fanfare or fireworks on the last occasion. I can't remember how I performed, or even where. I simply showered and walked away without a backward glance, probably expecting to return for another session a few days later but I never did. Days turned to weeks, then to months. I kept a bag in the boot of my car for at least 2 years, kidding myself that I was ready to go at the first chance.

Lately, I'd found myself thinking about it more and more, mainly during idle moments or in the lonely small hours of the night. I tried to dismiss it, convincing myself that I didn't have the time even if I had the opportunity.

Yesterday brought it to a head. First I saw a picture of myself which made a mockery of any ideas I might have of being in the running, let alone pipping others to the post. Then a friend texted me with details that seemed perfect.

This afternoon I decided to act. I was nervous, worried they might laugh at me, not just at my flabby figure but also my old and worn equipment, clearly state of the art in its day though risibly outdated now. I took Jack along for moral support. He's a grown man and old enough to witness these things for himself, even take part. I made him a member too figuring the time has come when he has to be initiated into these things, and preferring to know it's within safe, secure surroundings with professionals.

We're going back in 5 minutes for our first go. Jack's so excited, whereas I'm quietly cautious.

I'll let you know how I get on, if I'm still walking that is, after my long-awaited return to the gym class.

26 Comments:

Blogger CeCe said...

Returning to the gym is always tough! Good luck!

6:36 pm  
Blogger andrea said...

I'm actually envious. I was an endorphin junkie and I want my high back, but after having a cortisone injection in my heel three weeks ago (hurt like a mo&$!?!$er) I'm continuing to be a good girl and get my endorphins from chocolate.

I'm with you in spirit anyway!

7:47 pm  
Blogger delcatto said...

Good luck!
I'll stick to walking the dog.

9:47 pm  
Blogger Ivy said...

You`re braver than me tackling going to the gym - I`ll stick to table tennis and maybe a bit of country dancing for my exercise!

10:53 pm  
Blogger Menchie said...

Oh I hated going to the gym. I used to do it three times a week about 8 months before my wedding until I got pregnant the year after then it's bye-bye hell hole!

I didn't like having to get dressed and drive out. I'd much rather starve myself but the hubby has recently pointed out that while the starving option is working, I do need to have exercise.

But I'm still not going.

1:07 am  
Blogger Ces said...

I do not like going to the gym. Other people use those equipment and they perspire on them! I do it with the video. I have not started this year and I am afraid I won't be able to walk, sit or get up after I do those lunges. Some colleagues at work started this year and they walk in a funny way.

1:26 am  
Blogger Within Without said...

I also hate the gym thing and would much rather play sports...but all the best with it, CP.

(Loved the buildup to the point)

2:06 am  
Blogger kj said...

oh, cp, i was right with you until the sad discouraging end of your story.

it's the gym for me too. except i call it the 'y'. i am calling upon my catholic upbringing to do about 30 pounds of pennance. please pray for me, as i will you.

:)

5:32 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I used my new cross-trainer (yes, exercise equipment designed for the religious community) for the first time yesterday - I can go to the gymn without leaving the comfort of my own home. And stay in my slippers.

Sorry, the image of walnuts, soaked in thigh-sweat, is quite disturbing.

8:08 am  
Anonymous Nathalie Winberg said...

The high after exercising is one of a kind, not even drugs get you feeling that good. At least when you've done it a month or two and notice the difference ;). I'm going back to my dance class today after a months break for holidays. God damn I love it.

12:21 pm  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

You're a brave woman, Cherry. A brave woman indeed. I'm too scared to go to the gym because I'm sure I'll be the only one with crepy thighs and flabby belly amongst all the body beautifuls. I'll just stick with the occassional trip upstairs for my exercise ;-)

2:12 pm  
Blogger Joyce said...

oh my . You really had my goat there for a little while!! Until you got to the bit about joining Jack up with you, then I knew that the sweet cherry pie that I knew and loved would not mess with her son in such a way!

The gym, you say? well, I was looking for a partner in losing my acquired 10 to 20 lb, but I think the gym is really, really extreme. Starving? maybe. An irrationally ridiculous diet? sensible. BUT THE GYM?! wow. my hat's off to you.

2:36 pm  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

You big tease you had me from 'did it'.
Why not publish some fancy schmancy schweaty work out pictures replete with a video of Olivia Newton John singing 'Let's get Physical..let me hear your body talk, body talk'

With any luck Daniel Craig will be toning those shoulders at the next machine and sparks will fly.

A few years back I purchased one of those machines that took up an entire room..now I am just plain lazy and keep in shape 'old school'..
steroids, lypo and cocaine fueled tantric sex.

7:40 pm  
Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

I think I'll work my way through all the DVDs of fat-to-thin celebrities before I venture out in public! I am sure Janice Battersby has much to teach me! Good Luck Brave Soul!!

2:40 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

sorry CP!!

3:03 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Cece - thanks. I think it's easier than having another baby though. Good luck!

Andrea - I'd swap your chocolate for my gym membership anytime, but perhaps not your poorly ankle. Hope it's heeled ( sic) soon x

Del - I think I'd have done that if I'd had one to walk

Ivy - I could cope with the country dancing. I haven't had a good dosey-do with a partner for as long as I can remember

5:32 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Menchie - I knwow what you mean about having to get dressed. I am taking a very large coat and just hoping that I don't break down on the way home.

Ces - I have loads of those videos. I've watched them all whilst sitting on the sofa eating chocolate Hobnobs. I carry a towel to wipe down the machines. If nothing else, it makes me look as if I know what I am doing.

WW - Once I got past 30 I found tiddlywinks no longer had the effect that it used to - any other type of sport would have just been too ridiculous to contemplate

KJ - I'm kneeling, with my eyes shut very tightly. I'd also be praying if I could just unbend enough to get up off the floor and...

Dave- I've now got an image of you suspended from your spare room wall in your slippers ( shakes head as if to dislodge a worrisome insect)

5:39 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Hi Nathalie- I'd much rather be joining you at your dance class. That's how I used to keep fit until my dance partner upped and got married and moved away. It's impossible to turn up to a class around here without a partner and finding one of those is almost impossible.

Sharon - you'd look fabulous next to me.

Joyce - I've no will power or stamina whatsoever. I need all the help I can get. Tell me how we can help support each other and I'll watch your back if you watch mine ( it's a large object, you shouldn't have much difficulty).

HE - if Danny Craig's a member I demand a body double!

Cherry - I've modelled myself on Janice battersby in so many ways until now

5:45 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Pete - look what you've started!

5:45 pm  
Blogger Kate said...

Good luck! You're braver than me, I wouldn't dare go to a gym. I'll stick to the exercise bike in the lounge while watching tv.

6:06 pm  
Blogger Melora said...

Well, I suppose you will be safe with Jack to ward off the muscle bound oafs who will want to interrupt your workouts. I had a gym phase, but went overboard and became very thin and wasted too much time climbing stairs (and I could never manage to read and climb at the same time -- I'm not that coordinated!). Then I married Ed and settled down to happily eating bon bons together. Good luck with it, though!

2:24 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I can picture you 'country dancing'. with the right equipment, of course.

1:35 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

you must be bonkers! although I do admire you courage and determination - I have decided to give in and buy bigger - wanna come shopping?? :)

5:22 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Dave, what equipment do you need for country dancing? Does it depend on the country your dancing in? Or is it country as in not the city - d'you need a cow or something? A tractor? Wellies?
Facinating - it may be just my thing, I like an activity with a bit of equipment and a willing partner. Do enlighten us please.

5:27 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Country dancing, if done properly, is an extension of Morris dancing. For men it involves gumboots and a pig; for women, strategically-placed tassels.

6:28 pm  
Blogger dinahmow said...

For persons of (my advanced) years, a sudden return to vigourous exercise would, indeed, be "bonkers!"
I have a couple of video programmes, but have yet to figure out how in heck to do the moves from a supine position and watch the instructions at the same ...
How fortuitous, then, that good, strong chocolate contains essential iron. (But not much, so you need a lot!)

4:33 am  

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