Friday, December 29, 2006

Party's Over

It's taken KJ & I a week to clear up after the party. It's amazing where you can find M&Ms. Admittedly, we kept stopping for tea, biscuits and a good chinwag, occasional cheroot, and lots of fiery brussel sprout biriani which made the spacehopper racing in the long gallery go with extra umpff.

We found a number of items which weren't there before the guests arrived. I would return them to their rightful owners personally but in many cases I simply cannot imagine to whom they belong. I have piled them all up beside the pool. Please pop in and collect anything you may recognise. Take a mince pie. Frankly, I'm sick of the sight of them, even with the extra thick Courvoisier cream. I'll understand if you choose to pop in under the cover of darkness but would be delighted to share a mid-festive mulled wine in the 12-seater hot tub while we try to remember just who it was that built a perfect replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa in the garden with nothing more than some empty beer cans and silly string. I've had it varnished, sprinkled it with icing sugar and will be using a picture of Jack, Darius the Cat and I smiling beside it on next year's Christmas Card.

Lost Items:

The complete Beano collection 1967-1984; a glass eye; 3 partial sets of dentures ( they don't match), a surgical back brace Size 44; one beautiful open-toed gold sequinned stilletto shoe Size 14; nose-clippers; an evening bag containing nothing more than a Dior lipstick and pair of lacy knickers ( actually, I think that might be mine); a child's dummy, smelling of creme de menthe; laboratory safety goggles; the ubiquitous stick-on bra; a gentleman's catheter bag, unused ( there were a couple of used ones too but I disposed of them appropriately - my gazanias look fabulous); a monogrammed whip ( To HP from your faithful servant T); a half-knitted ra-ra skirt; a box of chalk; an ice-hockey mask; a set of printed instructions ( How To Make Your Member Be Remembered - Organically); a monkey wrench; an HSBC Membership Card ( Horny Sperm Bank Contributor); a dog-collar ( inscribed My Other One's A Cravat) and car keys ( the fob says VS).


Blogger Cream said...

HSBC? Highly interesting!
Cherrybabes, you are a gem!

3:28 am  
Blogger andrea said...

I'm so embarrassed. You found both my ice hockey mask *and* my stick-on bra. (It's all about being a good -- but hot -- Canadian.) Thanks for another laugh. xo

5:55 am  
Blogger Joyce said...

the catheter bag, you say?
All right, so I came as a dashing nurse, and was accompanied by my aging (now 40) husband, the mennonite. After a few beers around the pool, he stops squirming so much when i want to practise draining the old man... I'll be by as soon as I can surgically remove the piano and many pounds of tarts and chocolate that seem to be tied to my ass.

6:14 am  
Blogger Ces said...

I say the same thing about the catheter bag! Gasp. Cherry Pie, that was one heck of a party. Once I actually felt I was in the middle of a sorority/fraternity party. What is KJ doing staying behind to help clean up, clearly sucking up to you?

6:18 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Can I just make it very clear that the dog collar isn't mine:

a. I'd never take one to a party
b. I don't own a cravat.
c. I don't remember removing any clothing at the party.

Did you, by any chance, notice a real dog at the party? (That murph may have hitched a ride in my car).

Isn't it interesting that both of us have wandered off to the land of fantasy (even more than usual) in our blogs this week?

8:13 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I've just remembered that someone did once find my dog collar, under their bed. My story is that it was in my coat pocket, which had been flung on the bed, and must have fallen out.

11:09 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

Hey you, now I understand the bouncing comment - loved the vid and so clever of you to do it sideways without falling over!

I have misplaced my electric cork screw - did that turn up amongst the 'leftovers'? I think the shoe is Tom's he certainly had a lop sided totter about him!
Or was that Pammy??

12:59 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

and Dave - 'flung on the bed' I hope you were in it at the time! The coat or the bed, either works - what a fab line to have been penned (so to speak) by a vicar (so to speak) - it's made my day and quite helped my hangover - thank you :0) (and with lines like that you should have no trouble with you bowling in 2007!)

1:03 pm  
Blogger krusty the baker said...

As ever, I missed the party. Doh! Looks like it was a good un, though, glad it was fun. Did anybody photocopy their arse? Sorry I missed it, but as you realise I had a prior commitment. Happy New Year to you and yours, chere Cherry.

1:14 pm  
Blogger kj said...

well, cherrypie, i am finally out of my stupor to drop you a note to thank you for such a riotous and wonderful affair.

the m & m count reached 453--there were m & m's strategically placed and then found in every corner and crevice of your place. i think it might have been someone's fetish, really. i can't imagine what he/she might have had in mind.

i can't believe ces is questioning my intentions in helping you clean up. you might recall we begged her to stay and help but she was in a chocolate induced state that did not allow communication.

i told you the stick-on-bra and ice hockey mask was andrea's! does she know we each borrowed both for a short time in the hottub?

it was the best party of the year, cherrypie. you are a fantastic hostess. i love class and kinky rolled into one. cheers to you!

6:13 pm  
Blogger The Tart said...

What's a ra-ra skirt? Sounds like something I must have, natch!

Smooches Miss Cherry,
The Tart
; *

1:30 am  
Blogger dinahmow said...

Marvellous post, with comments to match!
So...when's the next wing-ding?

7:02 am  
Blogger Within Without said...

I believe the lacy knickers are actually mine, CP, along with the printed instructions.

I'll be by to pick them up forthwith.

2:45 pm  
Blogger Menchie said...

Can I just say, I am enjoying reading the blogs post holidays. This was great!

And sorry for leaving the M&Ms all over....

5:40 am  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

I can save Joyce the bother if she prefers - a catheter bag's just the ticket for used paint tinner after an airbrush session >B^D>

5:42 pm  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...


5:43 pm  

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