Tuesday, December 05, 2006

On the Fifth Day

I got 5 Cold Calls.

My mobile phone may be an obsolete model but I like its art deco styling, besides I've only just worked out how to use it so I certainly don't want a free upgrade with 450 minutes and 2250 texts, camera, radio, body fat counter and digital tape measure for the knockdown price of Fifty Quid a month. My ten pound top-up voucher lasts me almost 6 weeks.

My house is already fully double-glazed, with a perfectly good fitted kitchen, power shower and conservatory. I could do with some plaster boards for the garage, and perhaps a lorry full of silicone sealant but the gentleman didn't seem keen to offer me that on a buy half, get the rest done free on a buy now, pay later at 33% compound APR basis.

A holiday in Florida would be wonderful but I don't recall ever entering the competition I had purportedly won. It would be nice to have somebody else making all the travel arrangements, as Brad, the Marketing Director, offered to do if I would just give him all my credit card details so he could confirm my flights without having to bother me but I've already used up this year's annual leave entitlement and have to save enough next year to fit in Budapest, Florence and a short break somewhere with an exotic young chap from a neighbouring county.

I subscribe to Gardeners World, BBC History and Delicious magazine, buy a Sunday paper every week that takes me the next 5 days to get through, receive regular publications from the National Trust, English Heritage, the RSPB, Lincolnshire Wildlife Trust, British Conservancy Trust Volunteers, Cruse, Tesco Food/Wine Club and the Annual Screw-Fix catalogue, actually addressed to the previous occupant and not the least bit as interesting for a single girl who might want to get nailed as the title might at first suggest and have enough books to last me through the next 3 months of long dark nights. I do not need a WatchTower.

My life might well be enhanced by a handy plastic tool that clips easily onto a worksurface without the need for any permanent fixing and de-lints my cooker-hood/brussel sprouts/ tongue with 3 simple twists of the interchangeable colour-coded extendable ends but I already have more than enough crap, thanks largely to Marko who brought me a lovely little terracotta patterned butter mould set to accompany the jam funnel and electric pineapple corer last weekend. The lady from Kleenaware or Bettereze or whatever it's called was lucky to get her unsolicited catalogue of crapola back, surely she couldn't have expected a polite but firm rejection too.


Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

But darling, let's face it, these are the only 5 people who have shown any interest in you in the last 3 months.
I would go with the Watch Tower person. You could go out together and meet interesting people.

1:54 am  
Blogger Menchie said...

I hate cold calls! I always cut it off with sorry, not interested. Good thing I rarely answer the telephone at home. I'm almost always in the bedroom and the phone's downstairs so I figure if it's important, they can reach me thru my cell.

4:15 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I had planned to go to Budapest this year - indeed had booked the trip - but it was cancelled as they'd run out of single rooms. Good thing as it turns out, as it was in October, when matters of the kidney were diverting me.

8:10 am  
Blogger Pete said...

So who is this chap you are going on holiday with.............

Cold calls really irritate me. One would not give up they kept coming. I then let fly with both barrels lots of effing and blinding they stopped it.

register with TPS as well

8:21 am  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Vicus - you are right as ever

Menchie - I wish I could have that confidence

Dave - I shall let you know whether you missed anything

Pete - he's a lovely young chap ( Dave - I know it's a fictitious age but I like to humour you)

5:53 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Helloooo - I think it's working today - such a shame I have nothing of value to add!

except . . .

I always say "hang on a min I'll just get them" and then leave the phone on the side, returning not for at least an hour - seems to do the trick.

6:30 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Screw Fix! Ha.
Forget joining the Watch Tower Society..statistically JWs have to make 740 house calls to find 1 paranoid convert who is terrified enough to stop donating blood and abandon all reason and society in hopes of making it into the select 144,000 who will one day rule the world.
If you don't believe me phone Michael Jackson and ask him.

7:52 pm  
Blogger Cream said...

"Exotic, young chap from a neighbouring county."
One out of three is not bad!

And guess who's going to Carcassonne for £16.95 return in January?
I'll make sure I'll fix the screw on that naughty toilet/shower...

9:06 pm  
Blogger Seany said...

Roll up, roll up, ladies, get your blog accessories 'ere...

OK, I was never very good at the cold selling thing, but seriously, if you've ever thought about a clock for your blog, take a look at model 8010 here.

It is free - surely you can't ask for a better bargain than that?

9:12 pm  
Blogger Seany said...

Hmmm... link didn't work! Never mind - the page is at http://www.clocklink.com/ENG/gallery.htm

9:13 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Ziggi - your input is always valued. Rarely valuABLE, but valued nonetheless.

HE - was has Michael Jackson got to do with the Jehovah's Witnesses? He didn't dangle one over his balcony did he?

Cream - that's an even better deal than I got, by about 3quid. Go visit Madame Careaud at my chateau. Tell her Cherrypie sent you.

Seany - thanks. I had thought about a clock before but didn't really see the point as most people must have a little clock on the bottom of their screens already. I couldn't resist this one though. Now can you find me a template with a cherry theme, perhaps?

10:21 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Jackson was a member, his whole family was raised in the fold...other celebs include Prince and Ginger Spice..but I think that it interferes with their spare time.
btw I am officially 12 short months away from middle age, any legal advice about getting my affairs in order would be greatly appreciated.

2:19 pm  

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