Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The One That Got Away

There's this chap I've known a few years. I originally met him at an online dating site. We chatted a bit, went on webcam a few times and could quite easily have met for a date. He lives in a town not unknown to a few fellow-bloggers.

I really liked this guy. He was funny, handsome, 6'2", played rugby and could dance. Ticks in all the right boxes. That was the problem. The chances of him liking me in return were slim ( unlike me) so I procrastinated. Eventually he was reunited with his long-term girlfriend though we kept up email contact, mainly in the form of Fwd: Funnies.

We met in person for the first time a couple of Christmases ago. Jack was playing at his home ground and he strolled past whilst I was jumping up and down on the touchline. I recognised him and shouted him over, forgetting that I was wearing pixie ear-muffs and wellies at the time. It seemed like we'd known one another for ever and our email contact became more regular, daily infact, and included personal notes on what was happening in our lives, swapped photos, mild flirting etc.

He came over a couple of times after I'd moved last summer. It was all very innocent, just sharing a glass of wine, I may have cooked once, before he headed back. I never asked if his girlfriend, now his wife, knew where he was but it didn't seem to matter because we were nothing more than friends enjoying a pleasant platonic evening.

He texted me at the weekend and for reasons I do not fully understand they started to become increasingly steamy. I had to take a shower, in part to cool down, but also in case he turned up on the doorstep. He didn't and the weekend passed quietly.

Yesterday morning, my phone bleeped. I'd got a text. It was from him. He was 10 minutes away and had an hour available. There was no doubt about what he had in mind. It seems my karmic-fairy-SMS-of-a-godmother had taken it upon herself to withhold the message for 36 hours by which time the moment had passed, my virtue had been retained and his marriage vows unbroken.

Frustrated? I am now! Although, of course I pretend not to be.

How sexually frustrated are you? ***version 2.0***

You're in sexual frustration level 3. DENIAL. Yes, i'm talking to you. Because you've been sexually frustrated so long you've pretended that you pulled yourself out of the funk. LIAR. Filling your life with heavy work loads isn't going to help you get laid. TRUST ME thats what you need. (just when you do, don't be too violent) You've grown hostile and slightly evil... This needs to stop- You need to get out there and... not kill people - consider starting a porn star career or attending large orgies just to get the ball rolling -
Take this quiz!


Blogger Seany said...

Fingers crossed that I don't work with this one!

8:48 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

LOL - no, Seany. You don't and he doesn't drink in the Tap either. I checked.

8:54 pm  
Blogger andrea said...

Ouch. That's all I can say. Any more and it would be indiscreet.

9:18 pm  
Blogger CeCe said...

Well, I'm glad you didn't mess with him! 'Cause then you'd feel cheap. But right now, you feel darn sexy and hot, and desirable! So, good thing you can hold on to that feeling!

9:22 pm  
Anonymous Pete said...

probably for the best CP

I think you are worth more than that!

and no don't know what I'd do sitch reversed ;)

9:53 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

hmmmmmmm - is he a cheating bastard or an unhappy man? Probably a lucky break for you . . . but, on the other hand, he made have made a mistake with wife, it happens - can't you find out more?? (but be careful!)
- sorry probably sound like your mother!

10:09 pm  
Blogger kj said...

wow. that's all i can say.

i hope you felt better writing this down, because it is pretty interesting and definately reality-show material.

i wonder what you will do when the next call or knock comes from him.

2:41 am  
Blogger Within Without said...

Hmmmm.....what to do, what to do?

You know he's going to be back, don't you? There's a connection, it seems for sure...

But should you break it?

Sorry to pose such obvious questions in your dilemma. I note, however, your fascination with height and rugby players.

So there you go...

But you are a fair and lovely maiden who deserves only the best. Are his intentions and feelings matching that standard?

On the other hand, read what the sexual frustration test results indicated...

Do I? Don't I? Gulp. Hate to spoil the party, but if he's married, what does that say about him?

Whaddya care what I think anyhow?

Good luck whatever you do...I'll pay for the wine, whether you drink it alone or in company...

3:11 am  
Blogger delcatto said...

Possibly a lucky escape...affairs with married men/women are likely to backfire and cause all sorts of grief, emotionally as well as otherwise.
Still, it must be very tempting...
Hasn't he got a rugby playing 6 feet+ friend?

9:14 am  
Blogger Mise said...

Have to agree 100% with delcatto on this one, CP! :-D

10:05 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cherrybabe, this Beau deserves the El Beau!
But you know that anyway!
Cream (Blogger is playing up!"

10:15 am  
Blogger Kate said...

I with the 'lucky escape' camp too. I can see why you were tempted, I mean 6' rugby players do have their charms, but, if he is the sort that likes to play away from home then he sounds like more trouble than he is worth.

I hope I don't sound like I'm lecturing you - really I'm not :-)

Oh, and what delcatto said - ask if he has any 6' rubgy playing friends who are single.

ps: You know my BIL fits into that category but I think he might be a bit old for you.

10:31 am  
Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

Maybe you have a guardian angel! I have always found them to be cruel but wise masters! Nothing worse though than all that unresolved guff taking up space in the brain and heart! What does your heart tell you? You know you are top totty - intelligent, beautiful, thoughtful and wise (solvent too!! Whooo Hoo!!!) As a rugby player make him sweat a bit!

11:08 am  
Anonymous Pete said...

its interesting that all of us are assigning motives to this guy and of course we all naturally think he's a cheating rat.

what none of us know is the relationship he's in. maybe he's of one the small minority of men being abused by his wife. maybe his wife treats him like shit.

then again maybe he is a cheating git looking for a shag.

Dunno guv.

Ultimately do you want to be hanging
around waiting for someone to pop around for a quickie and a glass of wine. May make you feel good in the short term but will it in the longer term............

great post CP

12:57 pm  
Blogger tom909 said...

Well Cherry, are you destined never to get a shag.
I used to agree with pretty much everything said above, but now I don't know anymore. Fuck it, I just do what I want to do at the time. See I'm not saying I shag around, because I don't, but who knows what's coming next in life. Good Luck and fucking well enjoy it when it does happen.

1:44 pm  
Blogger Carmenzta said...


You are sweet, cute, intelligent, nice, fun, and lots more wonderful things. You deserve your own 6ft plus rugby player that loves you and is dedicated to you. Yeah, I'm aware that I also sound like everyone's mother but then our mothers were always right about this kind of thing. Like Cece said, I would definitely feel flattered by this attention and rightly so, but I know someday your prince will come...

nrexth - "Next!" said by a person with a heavy lisp.

9:03 pm  
Blogger krusty the baker said...

Not a lot to add other than reinforce the general view that you are 'top totty' - not sure I like seeing it quantified as it was above?! I scored a three on the SF test too, but then so did 111 people out of 3000+ takers, which is apparently 23%. So I'm not sure I trust their calculations.

I'm having a vaguely similar conundrum rattling my loaf at present, go with your heart is the general sentiment of the counsel sought out. A great post, CP.

9:32 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Aha! So you were the one that clicked onto the quiz, Krusty. I was wondering which other soul was curious enough to check it. It seems the rest are all content with their lot.

I was going to reply to all these great messages in this comment box but there was too much to say so I'm sticking with the theme for my next post.

9:59 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

I have no problem telling you to HOLD OFF from this situation and until he has officially ended his relationship.

You certainly dodged a bullet the other day. I know that every couple starts somewhere but
for f***sake cherry you are at the top of food chain..why are you contemplating second hand scraps?

You deserve the best. He may well be THE ONE or even ONE of THE ONES but wait until the stage is properly set..I know that it doesn't have as much pizzazz..why does everyone need to have William Hurt throw the chair through the glass door ala Body Heat!.

Look cherry if you start out on the wrong foot you are basically just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic!

PS you were brave for baring your soul like this..were you intent on acting upon this survey..were you fishing?? If you decided that not breaking up relationships was to be your one lonely scruple then by all means do yourself a favor and honor it.
PS.He isn't going anywhere if it is mean't to be!

2:05 am  
Blogger Ian T. said...

Good for you, CP! I know you might be regretting it in some ways, but truly, it'd likely go somewhere you wished it didn't. Affairs are sort of the weird side of romance - I mean, obstacles always help exacerbate romantic feelings anyway, but there are obstacles and obstacles. Even if it seems simple at first, what if it's really good? What then?...

10:55 am  
Anonymous Beki said...

I think fate has just done you a big fat service. Any short term pleasure would soon fade in long term crap in these situations!

You don't need him to make you feel desirable you just need to realsie yourself that you are. We can all see it!

9:40 pm  
Blogger Boo said...

I think the phrase "I've got an hour to spare" says it all Cherry.

You are worth so much more than that. People with an hour to spare usually go shopping, get their hair cut, cut their toe nails, wash their hair, do you really want to be compared to those activities.

12:58 am  

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