No more running away

I did something yesterday which I never thought I would do voluntarily. Ask anyone and they'd tell you I'd be more likely to sky-dive naked over an army camp in Basra accompanied by the Grimethorpe Colliery Band playing the Birdie Song than enter a bridal shop to choose a wedding dress.

I didn't need antihistamines ( although I had intended to start a course of them over the weekend as a preventative measure). The experience was far more pleasant than I would ever have believed possible. I didn't even sneeze despite being surrounded by more silk, taffeta and tuile to keep Dale Winton in boxer shorts for a year.

It helped, of course, that the beautiful, slim, elegant Rachel, my best friend was the one actually shopping. I was just there for moral support and to help her look even more devastatingly attractive, if that could be possible given her recently-acquired Monaco tan and sun-bleached highlights. She certainly couldn't have expected any expert input from me, I'd have been more likely to run shrieking into a broom cupboard.

As it was, I caught sight of myself in one of the many vast mirrors ( I knew I should have kept my eyes tightly closed but I'd foolishly relaxed after the first 20 minutes or so). Next to the positively princess-like Rachel ( I swear she's going to wear that tiara right up until next July every possible minute, whilst washing up, hoovering and pegging out the washing, just to get used to it of course) I looked like Grotbags.

Which is why I have finally decided that instead of constantly moaning ( and blogging) about how hideous I am, I must reclaim my alpha female. I've already made a start. I went for a run last night. Jack came along as personal trainer/ body guard and general motivator. I got twice as far as I thought I'd get. 1/3 of a mile without stopping once! and then back again. I could have done it again 10 minutes later, once the burning sensation had died down from my calf muscles and I had regained some coordination in my limbs. I didn't. I went home and had a bowl of shreddies for dinner instead. And I've had the same for both meals today so far.

It's late now ( gone 8pm) and I'm still in the office so it will be dark by the time I get home. As appealing the thought of running out of sight of incredulous eyes may be, the fear of collapsing and not being found 'til daybreak takes precedent. So I think I'm going to spend the time making myself a new blog to chart my progress. This is NOT an invitation to view it. The progress is likely to be slow and painful at best. I mention it merely to explain any irrational bouts of anxiety, depression and other manic behaviour which I may display in the foreseeable future.