Saturday, August 19, 2006

Raving Mad

I had to force myself to get ready to go out last night when all I really wanted to do was crawl under the duvet with a book and some cocoa. It wasn't anything exciting, just helping out behind the bar at the football club, something I do once every couple of months or so and it seemed to offer a change from a usual Friday night.

I had no idea what was on but I didn't give it any thought. There's never much variation, a Tribute Band, a Wedding Do ( never very upmarket as you can imagine but they usually lay on a decent finger buffet), a cheeky Elvis impersonator who always makes me laugh despite myself and the clientele are invariably an assortment of local yokels, many of whom look unnervingly similar to one another.

I was vaguely aware of large groups of chavs/trevs wandering about the streets but that's not particularly unusual when you get down into the village. I became slightly more alarmed as their number increased the closer I got to the sports club. It was all I could do to avoid scratching the paintwork on my new acquisition, there was more fake gold knuckle rings and chains in the car park than a souk. My instinct was to turn around and drive straight home but my strong work ethic, and the fact that the Manageress had spotted me and was waving frantically from inside, made me go in.

Words cannot begin to describe the horror of what I found. I know YouTube is wearing a bit thin but take a look at this very brief clip to see for yourself. The volume has been reduced to save awakening the recently deceased.

Warning: flashing lights, not recommended for people with light-sensitivy, epilepsy or any taste whatsoever.



You get quite used to it after the first 4 hours or so. I even found myself nodding my head in time to the music by the end of the night. On the doorframe. Rocking back and forth. Moaning somewhat. Trying very very hard not to cry.

15 Comments:

Blogger Within Without said...

Moaning somewhat? You deserve to be volunteer of the year. Don't know how you survived...

9:28 pm  
Blogger cream said...

Cherrybabe, sounded like our local blacksmith working on enough horseshoes for the Grand National!

9:44 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

I'm thinkin' the Verve,
'cause its a BITTERSWEET CACOPHONY...

or Bowie's
LET'S TRANCE!

Chavs and trevs is greek to me!
So they were having some kinda half assed RAVE?
Now you know why they ingest tranquilizers instead of alcohol...

3:27 am  
Blogger Stegbeetle said...

Oooh scary! Looks like the kind of "do" I'd pay to be let out of!

10:23 am  
Blogger Melora said...

Wow! That woke Katie up! (Which is a good thing since we are in a hotel room and we needed to get the kids up and hit the road.)
Is that just like being inside a big video game? I wasn't sure if there was a theme or if it was just yelling and some electronic zapping sounds. You put up with that for four hours? Oh my.

1:51 pm  
Blogger delcatto said...

I lasted 5 seconds and then I hit the stop button. Dreadful...play real music like Metallica, Eminem, John Denver or even brass bands so long as it is music.Not that shite.
Have you recovered yet and has the manageress given you a medal for enduring 4 hours of pure unadulterated crap?

6:32 pm  
Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

Give me an Elvis impersonator anyday rather than that!

1:49 am  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Dear mother of God Jesus Christ on a cross . . . and now I'm going to go watch William Shatner . . . . get . . . . . roasTED!

3:02 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

I think I know what a Chav is but what's a Trev?

11:33 am  
Blogger Benjamin said...

OMG! Please let me know next time! The happy harcore is just a bit bonkers, yeah x

3:18 pm  
Blogger Kate said...

OMG what was that?!? It sounded like someone trying to kill a Hammond organ.

Ziggi - trevs is an alternative word for chavs. It came about when I misheard the word chav and spent some time thinking they were called trevs. Then I decided they should be called that instead because it sounds really naff and would put them off wanting to be part of such a sub-culture.

6:54 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

CP - go to wine rack, open bottle drink. go to fridge remove chocolate eat.

after listening to that you deserve it.

6:56 pm  
Blogger tom909 said...

I know my step father said this about my music when I was a kid but, THAT IS SHITE!

8:12 pm  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

Cherrypie, you had FOUR HOURS of that? My God, you do have a great work ethic. I would certainly not have been able to stand it, got a headache from the 10 seconds I experienced. Taking an aspirin right now...

9:58 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Erm! It was 5 hours actually. I just spent the last hour with my ears bleeding in an almost catatonic state.

Hello, Benjamin and Ziggi - I promise it's not always like this x

10:16 pm  

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