Friday, August 11, 2006

Just when you thought... knew more than you'd ever want to know about me Kate goes and tags me. I've always found it hard to refuse anything which has had variable consequences.

10 years ago
Dumped Marko, moved up a few rungs on the career ladder with a new job in a new city, cut my hair and added some blonde. Felt free, excited and thought I'd stay like that forever

5 years ago
Met a bloke, thought it was love, finally considered settling down. 6 heady weeks later he went back to his wife and I took to my sofa, not before buying disgustingly fabulous Gucci boots and hideously expensive matching handbag.

1 year ago
Bought my first house. Still can't believe I haven't burnt it down or had it repossessed. Marked the end of any hope of ever having a sex life on account of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors covering an entire bedroom wall.

5 songs to which I know all the words
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Denis Denis - Blondie
Grease/ Rocky Horror Picture Show - The Entire Soundtrack
California Dreaming - The Mamas & The Papas
Don't Pay The Ferryman - Chris De Burgh ( shameful but true)

5 Snacks
Cheese ( all types, preferably by the lb)
Dried papaya
Cheese and, er...
More olives?

5 things I'd do with £100 million
Employ a personal trainer/ cook/ sex slave
Get bored with personal trainer/ cook/ sex slave, ignore him til he left and then have liposuction
Throw a really really lavish party and dance naked in a champagne fountain at 3am on my immacutely-groomed lawn with my handsome new Italian lover, the one who's a brilliant academic and an ambassador to the UN, when he's not advising on the set of the latest James Bond movie
Throw some money at the charities that helped fill my time when I was poor and hope they'd say nice things about me to the papers
Throw even more money at the people I know would tell the truth about me to the papers

5 places I'd run away to
The Offlicence
My friends' houses
Bereavement counselling - it's always easier to forget your own problems, or at least put them into perspective, besides other peoples

5 things I'd never wear
A pastel-striped knitted cardie from BhS ( I was 11)
Polyvelt shoes
Anything with bows
Asymetric sun-tops
A 'Vote Bush/Blair" badge

5 favourite TV shows
Planet Earth
Citizen Smith
Anything historical or archeological
Grange Hill
Anything with Jonathan Ross

5 greatest joys
Not being a grandma or receiving prison visitation orders by the time I reached 35
Using a hole-in-the-wall and actually getting money out of it
Discovering people actually read any of this twaddle
Dancing, anytime, anywhere and properly forgetting everything else around me
Being able to take my bra off at the end of a long day

5 favourite toys
The cold tap downstairs ( I like turning it on really quickly when Jack's in the shower if he's been particularly teenage)
My wiggly garden canes
My new headset for my office fone - makes me feel like Madonna

That saved having to think up anything witty and creative. Give it a try if you like.


Blogger tom909 said...

I'm trying to work out why the mirrors are having the opposite effect to what I thought they should have.

11:31 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

Mirrors on the bedroom walls. Ack! I'd not have carnal relations either. We used to have them on the closet doors at our old house.

Bursting out into giggles doesn't do much for your partners self-esteem, let me tell you!

11:41 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

And not one mention of chocolate as a snack?


11:44 pm  
Blogger andrea said...

I love 5 years ago: retail therapy at its most necessary. I nodded vigorously at Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocky Horror, cheese (no chocolate? she sqeaked in disbelief) and the cold tap. As for removing the bra, I *hope* you do it through your sleeve or it doesn't count. And when you win all that money you must invest in a plane ticket for me (I'll be sure to empty my toothpaste tube and shampoo before boarding) so I can join you!

12:33 am  
Blogger The Tart said...

Your twaddle has been delightful ... now quit typing & break that bedroom in! *wink*

The Tart
; )

1:25 am  
Blogger Stegbeetle said...

I was having such trouble with the "places I'd run away to" bit - the of-licence completely passed me by. A bloody good idea!

9:14 am  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Tom - it must be a girl thing. See Pamela's comment fot further clarification

Pamela- I rarely go for chocolate, but when I do I can get through an entire tin of Quality Streets in one sitting.

Andrea - of course it's through my sleeve. I wouldn't waste unnecessary energy taking my top of first. It's not unusual to find them dotted all over the house, which can be disconcerting when Jack has his mates round.

Tart - *sigh* will do, as soon as I can find a sufficiently myopic platmate

9:18 am  
Blogger tom909 said...

I've checked my dictionary for 'platmate'. Is this some kind of deviancy I am not yet familiar with.

12:52 pm  
Blogger Kate said...

I agree about the mirrors - ooh, that would be soooo offputting.

I do the bra thing too - always through my sleeve - it feels wonderful to be rid of the thing for another day.

1:07 pm  
Blogger Joyce said...

Meet you later for scrabble, olives and cheese? That's MY love language, sounds YUMMY!

3:11 pm  
Blogger Pie said...

I wish I knew all the words to the songs in the Rocky Horror Picture Show

It never seems to be in shops so maybe I'll order it online. I'm too timid to go to one of the shows so perhaps I'll dress up in my living room to watch it!

3:20 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Hey Ms Workaholic North of Watford You don't fool me!
You could go out and snag any fella that you wanted to in a matter of minutes.
You are to be a gorgeous, witty, intelligent, self-actualised woman who appears to be teetering on the verge of perpretrating inexhaustable and extraordinary carnal appetites upon the next deserving bloke.

Now I understand that there may indeed be a shortage of suitable 'soulmates' in the immediate vicinity and the funhouse mirrors may be discouraging but you are just pulling my chain.

I have always treasured your comments and you 'popped' my blogging you will always have a special place in my heart.

So Yes, I am prepared to go along with your 'schtick' about not finding a guy and being satisfied with watching birds flitter about in lieu of some torrid afternoon delight for as long as you want but puhleeze..don't pretend that you couldn't just march out to your infamous shed and pick out a few Italian Stallions who are out there shivering in the cold ...waiting for their chance for a slice of Cherry Pie.

5:59 pm  
Blogger Within Without said...

Mirrors can be removed or even broken, can't they? It's probably more of a guy thing...

One of my joys is removing me boxers when I can get home, so I sympathize somewhat...

But why didn't you just include "bras" as one of the 5 things you'd never wear?

And I'm with HE, strangely enough...why would you need to spend any of your 1 billion pounds on a sex slave when you can almost certainly get one for free?

10:38 pm  
Blogger kj said...

cherrypie, i've learned as much about you from your loving comments as from your post! i like it all.

your house sounds secure. your lovelife: you never know...


3:42 am  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Tom - thank you for pointing out my typo. I was not referring to intimate relations with chinless inhabitants of Coronation Street.

Steg - Thresher have 3 bottles of Hardys for a tenner

Pie - get yourself to a show immediately. I went twice, in full costume in the days when my hair was wider than my hips. We had front row seats and I picked up all the money that was dropped when everyone rushed to the front to dance. They were great nights.

HE - what a fantastic idea. Replace the current panels with wobbly glass that recreates the Jessica Rabbit look. I'd have hours of fun that way.

WW - break a mirror? I can't afford to throw away all that luck. And I couldn't possibly NOT wear a bra in public. I'd be tripping up all the time.

KJ - Thanks x

1:22 pm  
Blogger Within Without said...

Ah, Cherry, but your "one year ago" entry talks about never again having a sex life because of those mirrors in your bedroom.

OK then, just put curtains over 'em or wallboard for your Italian UN ambassador/James Bond advisor/lover, or for the throwaway sex slaves.

Bra: So you have accidents at home all the time then. Better increase your insurance.

9:59 pm  
Blogger Melora said...

You've had an interesting last ten years!
How about putting some drywall (except that you probably call it something different in England) over those mirrors. I would find them impossibly off-putting too.

I had to laugh when I saw Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your list. As you know, T. is a Link (from the Zelda video games) nut, and he recently found an on-line music video of Princes of the Universe, with Links. He really liked it, and showed us, asking if we'd ever heard of "the Queens" and "Princess of the Universe?" I actually thought it was quite cute, and so am including the link: (you just have to click on Play).

The picture above of your family is great! They look like a fun bunch!

1:54 am  
Blogger Rrramone said...

Your taste in music is excellent. :-)

Loved this post.

6:11 am  

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