Larkin Around

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

April 1971 from High Windows

Larkin wrote this on the day I was born, or very near to it at least. I don't think it was meant as a Nostradamuslike prophecy or premonition of things to come. I am not so completely self-centred ( yet) to realise that it had nothing whatsoever to do with me at all but our shared age and the fact that it was one of the first poems I ever read with swear words in it at exactly the time that rows at home were reaching their climax, has granted it a soft spot in my affections.

I won't drone on about Larkin. Anyone interested will already know of him, and anyone not, well isn't. Needless to say, he never had kids. His verse might have been different if he had.

They keep you up, your teenage kids.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill you with the fears you have
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were kept out in their turn
By Colts in new team ties and coats
Who half the time were taciturn
While pints of lager flowed down their throats.

Son hands on misery to Mum.
It deepens as she sits on the shelf.
Get home as early as you can,
And earn your beer money yourself.

There is a story behind this which isn't that remarkable or interesting but did result in Jack turning up for College on Monday with 5 stitches in his finger and a face that looked like it had been exfoliated with an electric sander ( it hadn't but he had made quite an impression on the concrete as he'd nose-dived over our 6-ft gate, having lost his keys at the end of Pub Golf).

The most worrying part of it all was that he seems to have contracted my eternally-optimistic, cup half-full ( and if it isn't then who's round is it?) attitude to adversity. Returning from college that evening, he remarked upon what a fantastic pulling opportunity this had created for him. All the girls ( even the prettiest ones that he never thought would notice him) wanted to know what had happened and he was a legend with the boys within 3 days of the start of term.

I predict my hairdresser is going to make a fortune out of my roots this year.