My cupboards and fridge have stayed full for the past few weeks. It's a most unusual phenomenon. I had thought they were like magic cupboards that silently ate the food as soon as it was placed inside but now I'm starting to realise that Jack may be in on the trick.

This didn't stop me getting up at daft o'clock yesterday morning and spending 132 quid in Tesco, and that was without alcohol cos it was too early. I really needed those 3 books to keep me busy over the Bank Holiday and I got 100 extra points if I spent enough on make-up but did I really need 2 huge bloomers, 6 different varieties of cheese, 8 packets of biscuits, 12 crumpets and a family-sized pack of cheese paninis? And I haven't got anywhere to put it all 'cos the freezer was already full of all the ragu that I've been batch cooking and I've only been having a large portion of grapes for tea ( ready fermented).

Dad popped in for a coffee mid-morning ( well 9am which ordinarily would be unacceptably early but by then I'd finished all the washing and started on the ironing). I watched a couple of dvds, both of which made me cry, and then it was suddenly 7pm and I had to get ready for my journey to Wedding Hell.

I timed my arrival just as they were about to start serving the buffet. The bride appeared to be having some sort of panic/asthma attack but the groom ( both of whom are colleagues of mine) soon calmed her down and she was last to be seen leading her entire family, including Grandma, Uncles and fat nieces with elaborate feathered headresses in the lyric perfect sing along, complete with matching air guitars, to the Bruce Springsteen tribute band. I made my exit as soon as it was polite to do so. I hadn't known a soul, nor thankfully, any of the lyrics.