Thursday, October 04, 2007

Nothing Comperes

I felt sick. My heart pounded. An invisible band pulled tight around my head. My palms threatened to drip sweat as my fists continually clenched and unclenched. My vision began to swim and for one moment I thought I might be about to have a heart attack. Or a baby. Or both.
I swallowed nothing as the lump in my throat threatened to block my windpipe. My tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth whilst my stomach turned somersaults and did the moonwalk.

There were 80 of them. I'd greeted each one individually, some by name. They hadn't looked this ugly, or menacing then. They hadn't stared at me then.

My world had shrunk to a bubble no wider than a metre in diameter. The sound had been sucked out of it.

I panicked. My mind emptied instantly to be filled with a backwash of more nothingness.

I made my debut, and quite probably my finale, as a compere at the comedy club.

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I want to wind it back and try it again.


Blogger ziggi said...


8:11 pm  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

AWESOME!!! You go, girl!

9:48 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

I was right! Huzzah for you!!

Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I can relate to your physical reactions to the event - But I bet once you actually started to speak you wowed them.

Now then, the pole dancing club next, I think you said?

7:51 am  
Blogger Pete said...

and I bet you were as witty and charming as always

6:26 pm  
Blogger Cream said...

Well done Babes! Go for it!
We're starting Salsa Classes on Sunday nights. Fancy introducing them?

9:48 am  
Blogger kj said...

oooooooooohhhhhhhhh, cp. yay.

i sure wish i could see you up there......

10:16 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

YES! I have no doubt that you "killed" as they say. I am sure that I would have pee'd my pants from laughing.
I wish that I could work up the nerve to try that...
it would be as terrifying as it is exhilerating.Hmmm.

6:39 pm  
Blogger LuvlyLittleSister said...

Wow. Well done for getting up there and doing it! I have enough trouble at interviews. I don't think I would volounteer to feel like that if I didn't have to!

7:49 am  
Blogger Joyce said...

you did? really?


1:19 pm  

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