Monday, October 23, 2006

Marathon ( 200?) Update

My training regime is progressing slowly. Very. S.l.o.w.l.y.

Considering how I usually rush headlong into everything, bursting with enthusiasm, desperate to get as far as possible in the quickest recordable time, I have found it surprisingly easy to show much more self-restraint in pacing my efforts where running is concerned. There is absolutely no danger of me burning myself out at the first hurdle. The chances of me ever getting as far as a hurdle are remote.

Circumstances have transpired to slow down my already virtually-motionless efforts. First there was the fall over the bank holiday which left me looking and feeling bruised. A few days later I started to experience breathing difficulties. A mind as active and inquiring as mine immediately began to suspect a collapsed lung caused by a hitherto undiagnosed cracked rib. I'd landed on my back and had not consciously bumped any part of my torso on the way down the stairs but with my galvanised pain threshold, there's no telling what injury I might have unwittingly sustained.

The lumps, haematomas to give them their correct and far more dramatic medical name, were slowly starting to break down so I couldn't rule out the possibility of an embolism having worked its way loose. I reached for a cigarette and resolved to consult the doctor first thing the following morning.

The moment I walked through the consulting room door, the doctor directed me to the weighing scales. He claimed that was because his records showed I had last visited in 1994 and he needed some basic information but I personally think he was just amazed at my size and anxious to ensure that his couch could take the strain. I was delighted to find that his scales had me half a stone lighter than my own though which probably accounted for the happy blood pressure readings he took a minute later.

I was a little taken aback when he referred me to the hospital for blood tests and X-rays. I dashed up there immediately. I was reassured they must have found evidence of two fully-functioning lungs when they didn't keep me in after my visit to the radiology department and I didn't faint when the phlebotimist made for my veins, although I did keep my eyes very tightly shut, gritted my teeth and tried not to hear Mozart's Requiem playing in my head.

The palpitations continued intermittently over the next couple of weeks but by the time the doctor rang with the test results ( all clear although my liver function wasn't as perfect as it might have been but then it had been a Monday, what did they expect) , I had begun to relax and accept the fact that I didn't have a life-threatening condition. I invested in a sports bra, bought a copy of Runners World and rsolved to continue my training where I'd left off ( that was half a mile, broken up into two short jogs).

3 weeks later and I have finally managed to put the sports bra on without pulling a muscle every time or needing a lie down in a darkened room afterwards. I now have a head cold and everyone knows the perils of training when not at peak health. This is so frustrating. I am like a caged cheetah, prowling irritably behind bars. If only these fetters could be lifted, I'd be off, running like the wind, clocking up miles, pony tail swinging, lithe limbs glowing. I am doing a magnificent job of keeping the disappointment at bay with the aid of a large Fruit N' Nut bar, a Carl Hiassen novel and the occasional medicinal hot toddy.

21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prowling behind bars ?
Are these the ones that serve the best Bolly, Chablis. Or Bordeaux

7:04 pm  
Blogger Ces said...

Cherry Pie, I just adore everything about you. You are by far, one the brightest, happiest, most charming people I know, well, given the limitations of blogging. You never fail to delight.

7:21 pm  
Blogger Joyce said...

that was delightful. Esp the bit about the embolism and the cigarette- just priceless.

7:27 pm  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

Should I get all serious on you now? No... no, I won't cos it'd just spoil the mood. I'll got to Amazon and look for Carl Hiassen instead.

7:35 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

wuss

haven't got time to say what I really think, I'm packing :o)

7:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its about a Kilometer to the beach at Titchwell. I expect you to run down and back and then walk to the sea with us.

I of course will wait for you whilst eating a bacon roll.

8:54 pm  
Blogger delcatto said...

"Fruit 'n' Nut...prowling behind bars...self injury...running (for no discernable reason)"

Nurse...the screens and a large syringe...

I have to admit I hate having my blood pressure taken. Needles, no problem as long as it's no more than an armful. But the pressure cuff tightening around my arm, the THUD, THUD, THUD as the reading is taken...ugghh!
I'm a bloody nurse as well, wuss that I am.

11:46 pm  
Blogger Within Without said...

You're posting a lot about physical activity and athleticism recently, aren't you?

Your prose and wit are once again more than evident, CP, and I am still howling out loud (hol).

But we need a picture of you in your troublesome sports bra (well, not JUST) with a cigarette, Running World, Fruit n' Nut bar and pony tail, plus maybe a haematoma visible and the phlebotomist in the background.

12:05 am  
Blogger Melora said...

You are so Funny! The bit about the doctor's couch made me laugh out loud. I Am sorry that you've been bruised and battered, and the idea of the embolism working loose had me poking my own still painful leg bruise (but if it were a dvt, it would hurt when I flex my toes up, right?). Did they give any ideas of why you might be short of breath?

Jogging is overrated, and I think you will be doing a kinder thing for your knees and feet if you stick with Carl and the hot toddies.

12:33 am  
Blogger Keshi said...

I have started jogging again...def wear a sports bra or else ny boobs will start sagging like a granma's :)

Keshi.

3:13 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I used to do a lot of running (dozens of half marathons, and two whole ones (Boston and London) but a serious lung condition 7 years ago stopped me in my tracks. I get that caged animal feeling from time to time (only for real, in my case) but just can't do the distances any more. Must find another way to exercise.

8:47 am  
Blogger Carlz said...

lol - thx for the link to MyBlog :)) will add u too! nice to hear from you!

10:34 am  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Tiger - will you be changing your name every week?

Ces - thank you. You'll see through me soon enough x

Joyce- that wasn't a joke. I really did sit up worrying all night about that.

Sharon - thank you for sparing me. I read Richard's blog. I know to be rightly scared of you a little bit. Hiassen's brilliant.

Ziggi - don't go. I'm sorry for whatever it is I said. I'm sure it's not worth leaving the country over.

Pete - ordinarily I'd have done a good 5k hours before meeting any of you, but I fear it would scare all the birds away so I shall walk very slowly and quietly, behind you, so no-one can see me stuffing my face with bacon butties too..

Del - somehow that doesn't reassure me

WW - exercise is the same as sex for me. Lots of oral. That's plenty of talking about it but absolutely no chance of ever doing any of it

Melora - I didn't know about the toe thing. You've got me doing that now and I've given myself cramp. I think the breathing symptoms might have been psychosomatic. I keep getting it occasionally but I'm trying to ignore it.

2:19 pm  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

Oh, that's a different Sharon that he talks about. Couldn't possibly be me!

4:21 pm  
Blogger The Tart said...

YOU go girl!!! Great reading material too.

Can't wait to read the next post, Tarty. ; *

Running smooches,
The Tart

Ps. At some point you must reward yourself with new shoes or chocolate, natch!

8:07 pm  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

Oh, if Carl Hiassen's novel doesn't put you back into shape, nothing will. Well, Cherry, what a lot of coincidences: I am (or I should say was) a runner too! I used to run almost 2 miles every day at lunch time. I stopped doing it because, first one thing (a really bad cold), then another (my son was back from Iraq), then something else (I was having back pain), etc. But I plan to go back to this soon. Don't give up! Running is a lot of fun. Once we start up...

9:37 pm  
Anonymous Beki said...

I'm telling you - exercise is bad for you!

9:55 pm  
Blogger andrea said...

You can borrow my plantar fasciitis, too, if the need arises, but I charge heavily.

4:38 am  
Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

I beleive the saying is 'slow and steady wins the race'! You'll be first!

9:12 am  
Blogger Mise said...

' ..large Fruit N' Nut bar, a Carl Hiassen novel and the occasional medicinal hot toddy.' ...lol...

Carl Hiassen! I'd forgotten about him .... Lucky You and Double Whammy are all I can remember reading, but I always thought he had a great name.

Your embolism, fag and marathon training has reminded me that I'll have to write something myself about my recent fitness test.

Make sure that you've fully recovered before donning your low-resistance running sheath again!

10:35 am  
Blogger Rrramone said...

Here's to a speedy recovery. You will do this! ;-)

3:08 pm  

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