Saturday, June 17, 2006

Work-Time Continuum

I feel like I have fallen off the blogging planet. I turn my back for a few days and so much has happened. Tom has had issue. Andrea is on the brink of becoming the next Stubbs. And everybody else ( there are too many to mention individually but know that you are all equally loved and afflicted) have been so wonderfully prolific that I have spent the best part of 4 hours indulging in your delights.

Where have I been? What was I doing?

I want to surprise and delight you, maybe bring a tear to the odd beady eye ( you know who you are) and tell you that I was, indeed, whisked away by a witty, interesting, hygienic* cyber-turned-tonguetastic-top-of-the-foodchain chap.

The reality is far more distressing. Of the last 120 hours I have

  • spent 55 in the office, despite which it is barely possible to see where I have been and completely impossible to see my desk
  • 14 on my feet, in 2 seperate stints, both immediately after a 10-hour stretch at the office , on consecutive nights, behind the bar at the local football club
  • 10 in my car going to or from one or other engagement
  • 4 attending a charity AGM at which I had intended to resign but instead roped Darbster into joining the management committee whilst I serve my 5th term
  • 2 sitting on a Housing committee
  • 7 ( with my Dad) listening to assorted speakers with varying levels of attention on topics relating to our estuary, it's history, management, bio-diversity, but sadly not archeaology as the Prof had stayed up in the Orkneys
  • 1 following a local fount of wildlife wisdom around a country park, it should have been 2 hours but my tolerance levels were low and I couldn't cope with some of my fellow attendees ( eg. pompous bearded twit: " What's that brown stripey bird? I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like that before. Is it rare?" -it was a Mallard)
  • approximately 3 showering
  • remarkably little time eating but try telling that to my bathroom scales
  • 3 watering my plants and tubs ( with a watering can even though we have lashings and lashings of water up here in the North and no need for a hose-pipe ban)
  • at least 2 each night tossing and turning in the heat, worrying about how I might best make an impression on my over-burdened desk the next day
  • 1 in a bird hide ( with my dad this afternoon)
  • 4 catching up on all your derry-doing
  • leaving 6 hours for sleep

It would be just my luck for that clever, articulate, twinkly-eyed, guitar-playing, foot-rubbing, lightly tanned historian/ linguist/ chef to turn up right now when I am sporting Grandma's eyebags and a nightie of which she'd definitely have approved, come to think of it, she probably bought it for me together with the matching padded coat-hanger.

*my wish list is growing more realistic - it's only a matter of time before a compromise on the hygiene might also be required


Blogger sally said...

How the heck can you get all of the other stuff done on only 6 total hours of sleep? Good job a fella's not around or else you'd be going on negative sleep.

3:33 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

No, no, no, no! Never relent on the hygiene requirement with your suitors. If they can cut corners there, you just never know where it will all end up.

Sounds like you've been a busy, busy woman.

4:08 am  
Blogger CeCe said...

"hose-pipe" HA HA HA HA HA You English people speak some weird language!!

5:09 am  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

My word!
It is amazing that you can account for your whereabouts in such detail. I can't even remember where I put down my coffee cup while I was reading this.

I feel like an inanimate object or at best a garden variety slug looking at this list. SHEESH!
btw; your hilarious reprise only adds up to 119.99 hours, why the error of omission, what is the big mystery, what are you trying to conceal cherry pie?

5:02 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

i feel tired..........

Mallard ? LOL

7:20 pm  
Blogger Melora said...

My goodness! Well, I guess you are just going to have to decide -- do you want to be a faithful blogger, or do you want to lead a successful, interesting life? Speaking as one whose chief excitement today was spending two hours designing T.'s birthday invitations, and who is now going to spend the rest of the day working on boring reports and contemplating the horror that is my backyard, I think you have made the right choice!
When considering the hygiene requirement, are we talking about clean-shaven v.s. scruffy, or unwashed with bad breath? Good grooming is not everything, but one must have the basics.

8:02 pm  
Blogger delcatto said...

'..clever,articulate,twinkly-eyed,guitar-playing,foot-rubbing,lightly tanned historian/linguist/chef...'

You've just missed wait for ages and...

I do admire how busy you have been, being such a lazy sod myself.

11:14 pm  
Anonymous Mikedahat said...

I'm not tanned, know bugger all about history, skoolboy french and spanish, not a chef but can cook, apart from that...

10:56 am  
Blogger tom909 said...

Now then Cherrypie, we've got to sort this bloke thing out. Your list of requirements is just far too long. Even if I was available I wouldn't even make the it into the squad let alone be considered for selection, and I'm an ok bloke.

Also remember that you are not going to be spending that much time with your bloke cos your so bloody busy. I mean it's probably going to come down to a couple of evenings a week so you really don't need so much in common. let's face it, if he has a kind heart, can cook you a meal and can give you a good time what the hell more do you want. We're only guys - we don't do 'fantastic'!

11:40 am  
Blogger Carmenzta said...


Like Homey, I am amazed at your productivity.

Like Pammy and Melora, I don't think the hygiene issue can be ignored or overlooked. EVER. Other things, yes but never hygiene. Even if he has a kind heart, plenty of money, gives foot rubs and is a porn star.

3:49 pm  
Blogger Rrramone said...

Not to mention you missed an entire guessing game about a castle. :-)

4:44 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Daisy - Welcome. Past boyfriends do seem to have a negative effect. I'd never connected that before. Thankyou

Pamela - you are right as always

CeCe - what else would you call a hose-pipe?

HE - I was keeping our tryst secret - you were spectacular during that 0.01hour - on both occasions x

12:34 am  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Pete - so do I

Melora - not the bad breath! I'd love to be able to spend time designing T-shirts - but Jack's been rather busy doing some of that himself today as you'll soon see

Delcatto - Bugger! I hate it when that happens. I tend to dither about which will be the most exciting ride and usually end up missing all of them

12:37 am  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Mike - you're hired x

Tom - I thought it was my womanly duty to keep moving the goalposts. Please note this is the closest I am going to get to any reference of the football mania which is currently sweeping our benign blogging nation

Carmentza - Porn star? Where? Is it Tom?

Rramone - one of many regrets which I shall have to learn to live with

12:41 am  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

The cat is out of the bag now!

You can tell Sting and Trudy that all of that 'Tantric' crap is sheer nonsense!!!

4:12 pm  

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