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Geez! Did you ever have one of those Periods where you felt like you were haemorraging your own liver?
posted by Cherrypie at 12:20 am
39 Comments:
Why yes, yes I have Cherry. It's not pleasant, is it? You wonder how you can live and lose all that blood. I've had my uterus cauterized to try and stop this from happening. It did nothing except cause me pain.
Sorry you're going through this. I've always maintained that there ought to be an OFF button on our bodies when we're done with the childbearing thing. It's a design flaw. I wonder who I should speak to about that? ::waits for lightening bolt:::
Oh dear. Not lately, but I do remember being convinced that I was hemorraging soon after T. was born. I wasn't, but just thinking of it makes me woozy. B.T.W., I watched that Entire video, waiting for something interesting to happen, before it ended and I realized that the rest of your post was beneath. I should read more carefully.
Feel better!
Cordially,
Melora
Surely, it can't be as bad as a Chaka Khan video?
Vicus, just a bit of advice from one who knows. It's not a good idea to make jokes about it - they don't go down too well. But that is quite funnt isn't it.
By the way, down here in Devon we use the word 'funnt' a lot. It means anything funny about women's periods.
Poor you, that's really crap! A hot water bottle helps if you have any pain.
Tom and Vicus, you should have left at question 2, you naughty boys.
Kate - Tom and I are real men. We do not take kindly to being ordered about by stroppy hormonal females. At least, that is what Tom told me to say.
For God's sake Vicus, this is a sensitive time. Funnt jokes can bomb real bad! You should just back off for seven or eight days, then you'll be batting on a safer wicket.
Like a good little boy I went to the first link as ordered and never left...what were the other ones all about anyway?
Ah, the joys of the Depo Provera contraceptive injection!
No forgetting take pills every day, no worrying if you have a tummy upset, no having to calculate whether you'll be on during your summer holiday and should you take the next pack straight after this one to stop it...
...and best of all, (for me anyway) NO PERIODS!
I hate the bloody things, no pun intended.
Apparently during the whole period, you only lose about a cupful of blood, even though you can wake up some mornings and it looks like someone's slaughtered a pig in your bed.
Ms. Pie,
I can relate even though I'm currently de-hormonizing and therefore no longer having those problems. Now I have others...
I don't think men should be allowed in this comments section, especially funnt men. Tom and Vicus, you should know better than to play with fire.
aycxhgr - How you say "achoo" in Papua New Guinea
given i'm seeing you in three days - deep sympathy. She'd either chuck me off the boat or push me off bempton cliffs.
there was no way I wasn't reading to the end.
Pamela - I shall try to avoid cauterization for as long as possible.
Melora - I'm so sorry. You are a patient and trusting soul who deserves better x
Vicus - I could have chosen Whitney Houston. That would have been far worse.
Tom - you have a wonderful sense of self-preservation, you funnt old thing x
Kate - my hot water bottle isn't really up to the job. Not since I stabbed it in a frenzied attack last month.
Tom, Vicus - fortunately for you my current hormonal imbalance is tending towards the slightly weepy rather than stroppy which I save for estate agents and financial call centres.
Scapey - I can't remember. Short term memory loss is another side effect of raging oestrogen.
Anna - when you realise that the last time you remember having sex the Twin Towers were still standing, it's bad enough having to endure the pain every month without the relief that not being pregnant brings - to be medically incapable of conceiving and still not getting any action would be just too cruel! Thanks for the tip though, if not the rather too graphic information.
Carmentza - have you any idea how to say " Are you married?" in Papuan New Guinean. I'd rather fancy an exotic boyfriend ( and I believe they like their women large)
Pete - you are right to be cautious. How else am I going to get to meet the men in rubber dungarees?
koeiohnr - Indian restaurant in Aberystwyth
yes, I have felt that way... and I have to say that the ONLY thing (besides the prize at the end) that's good about being pregnant is the lack of monthly visits from Aunt Flo!
Vicus, Tom and I are merley demonstrating the total lack of fearlessness that made God, glory and empire possible across all the globe's time zones. Well, at least when we aren't fighting last-ditch stands against indigenous peoples, getting cannibalized like Michael Rockefeller or serving as head of the Provisional Authority in Iraq.
Right Vicus and Tom? Vicus? Tom? Vicus? Tom?
Damn right, FE. (That is, if that's OK with you, CP?)
Cherrypie, on a more serious note, I'm with you all the way on this one babe. My missus has a fucking terrible time every month so I know it's not at all funnt.
"Kate - Tom and I are real men. We do not take kindly to being ordered about by stroppy hormonal females. At least, that is what Tom told me to say."
Stroppy, hormonal! Ooh that's fighting talk :-)
Cherrypie - the dog buried my hot water bottle somewhere in the garden, I think the way it wobbled freaked him out.
I remember the hot water bottles well. And having to take the strongest pain killers on the planet. And the slaughtered pig stuff.
Just have a hysterectomy. Best thing I ever did. And you get three months off work!!
CeCe - enjoy every minute of little Lillie
Fronty, Tom and Vicus "Mr. Darcy" Scurra - I'm liking the pheremones immensely
Kate - is it that for that very reason I no longer have a dog. The sight of my bare middrift had a similar effect. It became altogether tiresome.
Digi - that sounds more effective than Pamela's cauterization but is a far more terrifying prospect.
QM!!! TELL ME YOU ARE FUCKING JOKING!!!!
( they are all quite benign - I toyed with linking to The Hun but there was just the slightest chance that Jack might stumble in here and I didn't want to make it comfortable and familiar enough for him to want to stay for long).
Kate - in fact, IT IS for that reason. I don't know why I expected you to know the answer to that.
Vertebrates are formed as females and males are therefore mutants so to speak. Our species would not have made it if it was the men who experienced the internal torture of the mense.
If males had PMS the entire world would have been incinerated long ago and the Earth would have looked as barren as the moon.
I don't know what was more fun- the post, or the comments!
DO NOT take the depo provera advice. That evil injection reeked havoc on my mind and body. I repeat-- DO NOT!
Oh come on girls, you can't live with us and you can't live without us. We just don't know where we stand anymore.
By the way, I'm all in favour of woman ruling the world. I kind of like the West Indian model, you know, where we stand around enjoying ourselves all day (I guess in the 21st century that would be, sit around blogging all day) while you do all the work, only because you're so obviously better at it than we are. Then every now and again when we get horny, we drop by for a night to carry on the species.
CP: Those Papuan New Guineans have to like big women, have you seen those penis sheaths they wear?
Tom: That arrangement suits me fine as long as you bring flowers when you drop in, or pay the rent or take the garbage out.
weunvii: After "Vini, vidi, vici," we unviied.
See there you go! I'm not even through the door and you've written a list.
Poor Cherry. Men don't follow directions too well, do they? I thought perhaps that was just an American Male thing, but apparently not. :grin:
I've alwayws said, there should be an OFF button on us somewhere for these things.
Period pause is the only good thing about pregnancy.
Cherrybabe, I can't believe I ended you at B&Q instead of choosing NUTS or the World Cup!
What a great post!
I just looked back and saw I'd written ". . . . total lack of fearlessness . . ."
I'm a git. I meant "total fearlessness." But after reading subsequent posts, maybe I really meant "total idiocy."
HE - if men had them, they'd have found a cure or brought in 3-week month legislation
Jpyce - I didn't recognise you in your bikini. Very, erm, fetching.
Tom - I'm not sure it's just a West Indian cultural thing. I'm told that is now a compulsory part of MARRIAGE.
uxlfisax - instrument of the woodwind family, usually but not always smaller than an alto sax, made from the genital sheaths of Papua New Guineans
Martha - hello. At last, some Southern Hemisphere sense
Cream - that's what got you to the bottom of this post too - you boys never know when to stop looking for something better - thanks though - I'm flattered really
Fronty - it makes about the same amount of sense to me whichever phrase you choose to use
vcquujk - suction tool to carefully remove the sheaths of Papua New Guineans
I thought I said something pithy and clever here but clearly it got sucked into the Blogger toilet from hell. Oh well.
You'd get top marks in my class for the amount of research for such a small post. Well done. Sorry, can't relate...but I did find something to think about at the first link. Thanks.
Do you know, Andrea, I thought you'd left a very witty comment too but it looks like Blogger's gobbled it. There seem to have been a few problems lately. It's happened to me a few times.
Thanks, Brian. I've always been a bit of a swot and teacher's pet x
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