Monday, May 22, 2006

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Tomato


Total relaxation achieved primarily because the entire island of Anglesey shuts at 7.30pm after which there is nothing to do but sleep. We took the precaution of filling up our tanks on fish & chips in Conway before heading across the Menai Straits. Unfortunately, we'd not bothered filling the Mini Cooper with petrol and only just made it to Cemaes on vapours in the pouring rain. I'm not sure Lorraine appreciated me singing snippets from the Rocky Horror Picture Show at odd intervals.

A large part of the rest of the weekend was spent throwing a ball for Bella, Loll's Working Cocker Baby Substitute on assorted beaches around the North Western tip of the island. I did manage to steer us over to South Stack RSPB Reserve during a glorious sunny spell on Saturday afternoon and might well have converted Lorraine with the spectacular sights of thousands of nesting guillemots, razorbills, puffins and some egg-stealing ravens ( ahem!) had she not learned that many reserves do not welcome dogs.

We kept ourselves regularly topped up with delicious artisan sausages, local cheeses and a very non-Atkins afternoon tea prepared by the proprietoress of the Jam Factory( whose remarkably gravity-defying hair appears to have started to grow in the shape of the traditional chimney hat that she wears for the benefit of American tourists).

Tim joined us later in the evening, too late to find anywhere to eat locally so I vapourised any thoughts of freshly-caught lobster and happily tucked into an Indian takeaway which was the only thing available short of driving to Cardiff.

I got back last night after a stroll around Plas Newydd ( where I stumbled upon a pair of tree-creepers feeding their young in a nest in a crevice in a Giant Redwood trunk - I filmed it but fortunately have no idea how to upload video) pleased to see my son, my cat and the familiar piles of ironing and general household detritus. All was just as I'd left it on Friday morning, including the pots in the sink and the specimen thistles in the lawn.

It was only when I stepped out the back door that I saw it, or rather didn't see it. There was a large empty hole where one of my tomato plants should have been growing. There was no evidence of a struggle, no spilled soil or tell-tale muddy footprints leading out of the securely-bolted 6ft high security gates. The 5 remaining sextuplets seemed completely undisturbed. A thorough interrogation of Jack, who'd spent the weekend at Alisdair's and Darius, who appeared to have spent it sleeping in the Shed feasting on a strictly carnivorous diet of Mouse Tartare from the number of discarded offal lying in the corner, failed to throw any light on the situation.

Who ever heard of a tomato plant leaving home? Has it gone out to seek its fortune? It was a MoneyMaker after all. Could it have been abducted by aliens intent on increasing their flavonids and Vitamin C levels? What if it had been fruitnapped and would be sent back to me, leaf by leaf, until I agreed to their high demands? - a pepper plant in return for the fat red plums.

Did you see anything? If you did, call CrimeGrowers. You won't receive a Community Action reward but your comments will be taken seriously.

24 Comments:

Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

As one Cherry to another, I fear we may be being targeted. I had a peper plant disappear in similarly mysterious completeness and tidiness.

5:14 pm  
Blogger tom909 said...

Cherrypie, your tomato plant has done a runner. He is in search of a peat-free organic growing medium. Go for the green Humax grobag next time - your tomatoes will taste better too!

7:36 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

all these breaks!! ahem.

could it be the normal garden thief? the squirrel?

what on earth are those things at the top of the blog? surely no one would wear something like those ????

Plas Newydd is lovely, the views are superb.

you going to Bempton in June?

8:13 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Larf OL at the Rocky Horror bit!
Sounds like they could use a few restaurants..although who would notice if a few birds were missing?
Nice escape...

By the way, Sir Richard (Branson of course) and I lifted your tomaters whilst you were out. Sorry it was quite funny at the time.

We were carrying on this weekend in his hot air balloon and got into the sherry again... MyWord!...

8:19 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Thanks for tipping me off on the cherry blight, Cherry

Tom - how awful! It never occurred to me to check it was peat-free. I just picked them up from the local nursery. I shan't make that mistake again. Hopefully by this time next year, I'll have enough home-made compost.

9:24 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Hi, Pete. Have you dried out from your holiday? Do squirrels nick things like that? I did wonder if it was something like that but I've never seen any around here.
Definitely count me in for Bempton. I might try and coincide it with one of the puffin boat trips too

dvdorir - intestinal complaint brought on by too much TV watching

9:27 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

HE - do you get Radio 2 in Whateverpeg?
I might have known you and the bearded one had something to do with it.

What I can't understand is why you took the plant and left a washing line full of knickers. With Richard's track record, I would have thought some spare large pieces of silk could have come in handy.

9:32 pm  
Anonymous Beki said...

I'd add two suspects to the tomato theft line up - aliens and Heinz. Or aliens employed by Heiz.

9:33 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

will ask digi to arrange!!

I aim to be there Sat - Mon

dry? yeah. bought water proof walking shoes after falling on my arse at Padley

9:58 pm  
Blogger krusty the baker said...

Having abandoned saucers for long-range flying soupbowls. Enjoy your tomatoes, there's nothing taste quite like homegrown tomatoes, and the smell....mmmm! My sole horticultural project is a pot full of mint, which the kids in the other flats use as a goalpost. Everton mints? Glad your break was good. Artisan sausages - I'm v. jealous.

10:01 pm  
Blogger andrea said...

Aye, 'tis a serious mystery. But if you provide me with a pair of those gumboots, such beautiful skies and some sausages and cheese to die for, I promise to help seek out the scoundrel.

11:03 pm  
Blogger Boo said...

How peculiar! Those that were left behind looked very healthy too.

I would pay good money for a photo of a certain someone landing on their arse!

7:59 am  
Blogger Kate said...

Welcome back :-)

A couple of years ago, my in-laws had all their tomatoes stolen from their greenhouse while they were on holiday. I suspect there may be a gang of international tomato thieves at large.

12:40 pm  
Blogger Joyce said...

I'm thinking the tomato was afraid that it was hired help and was expected to do the ironing. That'd make any straight thinking vine run for the hill.

5:24 pm  
Anonymous Miss N. Tomato... said...

Ketchup with me if you can!

Cream of Cherry Tomato Soup! That's what I wanna be when I grow up:o)

5:37 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

I hadn't thought of Heinz, Beki. I'd better keep a close eye on my spaghetti hoop plant from now on.

Pete - I bet they're not as stylish as my wellies.

6:01 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

My grandad used to grow tomatoes when we were kids and it was my job to go round them with a tickling stick ( garden cane with a bit of cotton wool tied on the end) to pollinate the flowers. I would never eat them though, cos it was also our job to collect sheep droppings which Grandad then used to make a liquid feed for them. It's funny what you don't appreciate as a child!

Krusty, I bet the local kids would be delighted if you got a second pot, perhaps rosemary, to even out their goal.

6:05 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Boo - it was too quick to get caught on film. I suspect there might have been gin involved ;)

Kate - I wonder whether this should be investigated by the Cereal Crime Squad.

Joyce - you've got the measure of me. No-one dares linger long in my kitchen for fear of having an electrical appliance thrust into their hands

6:09 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Miss N T - Thank you for letting me know you are safe and not laying pureed somewhere. Please know you are very much loved wherever you may be hiding

6:11 pm  
Blogger delcatto said...

Fat red plums...If I was a Native American I'd be worried.

Large fruit flies?

Wales looked wonderful you lucky thing.

8:06 pm  
Blogger digi-birder said...

Sounds like a fantastic weekend, CP. I've never been to Anglesey, but I rather fancy those artisan sausages.

Hope to see you at Bempton.

10:46 am  
Blogger Kate said...

"Kate - I wonder whether this should be investigated by the Cereal Crime Squad."

Yes, they could call in Inspector Gorse, or maybe even Miss Maple.

7:46 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Del - I'd have to use the Sunday Times AND all its supplements to swat a fly that size!

Digi - I thoroughly recommend it. I think you'd love it.


Kate - I think you're onto something

7:56 pm  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Maybe it wasn't a tomato plant. Maybe it was . . . . . (insert foreboding music) . . . . a triffid.

2:59 am  

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