Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Forget fireman fantasies. Lifeboatmen are officially the sexiest, coolest, most desirable of all the male species. Not only do they wear kinky rubber wellies and all-in-one dungaree thingies, they also have cool helmets like racing drivers, carry out death-defying Bond-esque leaps across boiling seawater at breakneck speeds and the boats are nippier, sleeker and not as noisy as your common or garden Dennis firetruck. I know. I saw them at first hand on Sunday, far closer and more interesting than the lesser-spotted sooty red-throated sheardivers or juvenile greater-photographed watsermathingies.

The sea proved to be just as choppy as I'd hoped and I was enjoying the day far more than I would a trip to Alton Towers whilst most about me turned green and the RSPB women began handing out nappy sacks by the dozen. Some poor bloke, in his eagerness to get a sighting of a Skua, fell and bumped his head. The captain decided to head back to harbour as quickly as possible to avoid further injury and get him to A&E without delay. He also, sensible man that he must be, called the Coast Guard who, not taking any chances with a boatload of mainly bearded men of a certain age and one woman with a rather fetching pair of waterproofs, sent out the RNLI lifeboat from Flamborough Head. It drew up alongside and without either boat slowing down, 2 incredibly brave Stephen Segal-meets-Andy from Emmerdale lifeboat men clambered aboard right in front of me. It was terrific. It was all I could do not to faint ( which would have just been the icing on the cake if I'd got CPR as well).

The injuries didn't warrant the Air-Sea rescue helicopter which hovered above us for a time and then moved off on exercise. If you ask me, it probably didn't warrant the RNLI either but you can never be too careful with head injuries however slight the scratch. It did make for a fantastic day out and I shall definitely be booking another next year, during Puffin breeding season and if it gets a bit dull, I'll just throw myself at the floor and pray for the dark-haired one to deliver mouth-to-mouth.


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