Did you hear the one about...

...the trainee bereavement counsellor? Thought not. It's hardly an obvious source of humourous anecdotes or witty quips. It's 5 years since I did my training, motivated primarily by the desire to understand my Probate clients and make the horrible process more positive for everybody. The resulting boost to my CV was a pleasant but secondary consideration.

I was only ever on it for the training. I wasn't going to become a 'counsellor'. It would mean having to start wearing diaphonous skirts, smell faintly of cat and talk in a softsensitivewithmylipsnotquiteopeningfullyheadononesidesmilingenigmatically voice, right?

Well, no, actually. I never did master that technique, although I did learn to kerb my natural instinct to want to proffer advice and just to sit back and listen. I couldn't turn my back on it when the training ended and I'm still a Cruse volunteer. It's given me some really rewarding moments and I've met some lovely people who have let me walk part of the way over a difficult path with them. But that's not what I set out to tell you about tonight.

I found my old course notes. They make interesting reading. Take this exercise as an example.

Asked to choose an item from a large selection of assorted toys, trinkets and miscellania, I picked a small tin box for no reason other than it was closest and wasn't in any way, shape cuddly.

I was then asked to jot down 3 things that I liked about it, followed by 3 things that I didn't like so much. I'm quite taurean when I write anything, as often shows in my thoughtless, banal comments and I was no different with this task, rattling off 6 points before most of my fellow delegates were still pondering hard on their chosen item.

Useful

Classy

Decorative

Empty

Small

Cheaper than it looks

We were then asked to place the words " I am " in front of each adjective. Boy! I definitely got it right with that last one!