Sunday, September 24, 2006

All a Bit Flat

Why did Andrea have to go and challenge me? Why couldn't I have just smiled and walked away, got in the car, driven up to Northumberland and pretended to be a Catherine Cookson heroine for the afternoon?

11 hours of frenzied, feverish activity, 1 litre of Coca-Cola Zero, a cup of Earl Grey, 2 litres of scented water, 4 movies ( Kingdom of Heaven, Hitch, How to Get Ahead In Advertising and South Pacific) and a short intermission while Mrs Roger came and took some over-enthusiastic forget-me-nots and various other bits of greenery ( she even started to the lift the turf but that's a story for another day) and I'm halfway there.

Go on, click on them, feast your eyes. After all that hard work, I'm expecting a short mention in Hansard, a Woman of Achievement Award and maybe even a slot on Richard & Judy. I'll bet Pope Benedict has already forgotten his recent troubles in his rush to find a way of granting instant beatification on a living being.

I keep running into the (bea)Uti(fu)lity Room and stretching out full length on the worktops, because I can. I no longer need fear being engulfed by toppling tee-shirts, found weeks later, Dead By Laundry.

Now, Scrabble anyone?


Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Actually, I heard the Pope's Sunday message on BBC shortwave (I keep the radio hidden in a coffee can lest the Homeland Security Administration finds it), and Herr Benedict drew mupon the most fascinating and arcane mid 13th century text demonizing women who use household appliances as heteics of the worst kind. There was a special reference to self-cleaning irons, or maybe it was ovens - my medieval Latin is a bit rusty these days, you know.

11:31 pm  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

heretics, not hetetics - pardon me.

ubjpc - the realm's product code for unemployment benefits (been waiting for years to make a UB-40-derivative joke)

11:32 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

FE - I'd normally agree with him.

I'm pleased to have played a small part in the fulfilment of at least one of your ambitions x

And I've just realised that Blogger isn't opening those pictures up in larger windows. I have no idea why not but I feel disproportionately cheated.

typqmxzj - disease introduced into the native blogging population as a means of controlling numbers

11:40 pm  
Blogger Joyce said...

Once the men get wind of your superior housekeeping skills, they'll be running your door down!

12:57 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

bloody show off

7:41 am  
Blogger Stegbeetle said...

Damn, that's impressive! Yesterday must have been National Ironing Day or something as I started making inroads into out pile as well.
I only did a couple of hours worth but then mine wasn't requiring of a room to itself ;)

8:04 am  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

jeez how i hate ironing. i can never quite get a fix on whose underwear is whose. a wife and three daughters makes for huge confussion but now i see there is someone out there who can help
send me your phone number....


9:18 am  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

OMG! The H word! I've come over all funny!

11:47 am  
Blogger delcatto said...

You'll have to polish the halo and housekeeping medals you will receive for these magnificent feats.
Are you sure you didn't sneak in several cleaning pixies?

12:36 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Joyce- I think it was just a freak occurrence. I can't imagine being able to sustain it for long.

Ziggi - I'm feeling so positively Doris Day-like that I'd hate me if I wasn't so perkily perfect. All I'm missing is the cute button nose, Cary Grant and a blonde bob.

Steg - you iron too? Your wife got lucky when she met you

CJ- you could have had my number for anything other than ironing :(

Sharon-breathe. breathe. Head between your knees. Don't worry. It will soon go. That's my token gesture at domestication over for at least the next 6 months.

Del-do you think the Evening Telegraph will want me to run an advice column? I could you know.

And it was all my own work. The pixies got pushed out by the Polish and were last seen heading to Norfolk to pick parsnips.

pjaezui - result of Polish/ Pixie mixed marriage

1:25 pm  
Blogger Mise said...

Queen of the Utility Room. I bow to your supreme dexterity with an iron.

Now, what did you really take? And did you do that dance in Hitch? Did you? :-D

And since when has the word verication become a test of my visual acuity? All bloody m's and n's and j's and i's

2:57 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Mise - of course. I also did the finger dance to Happy Talk. It's almost become a ritual.

5:25 pm  
Blogger andrea said...

I hope Coca-Cola Zero doesn't mean zero caffeine and zero sugar. I could never have managed a marathon session like that without plenty of both... Wait! I take that back! I could have done *twice* that on no sleep and only a couple of stale biscuits. (Told you I was competitive!)

I never played Scrabble before the summer but suspected I might be good at it. Well. I kicked the arses of my genius son and his master-of-all-games dad around the block. Repeatedly. It was so great after I *failed* repeatedly to make a go of being a slum lord in Monopoly.

The board is at the ready. You still game? (The Pope, fearing a further butt-whalloping for his choice of words, has already declined.)


5:40 pm  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Bring it on, Andrea. I love Scrabble so much that I have been known to have a full 4 player game with myself. Sad but the only option open when you spend your nights alone. ( I was about 12 at the time)

12:07 am  

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