Friday, April 01, 2005

Ok! So I haven't managed to lose that essential 2 stone in the last 3 days - I tried but what can a girl do when faced with dates wanting dinner and plates needing cleaning? Is that really enough to send me behind bars? I think not.

So why did I find myself locked up behind 8' gates in a multi-storey car-park a good twenty minutes before they were contracted to close tonight? Conspiracy ( poor punctuality) or just sheer bad luck?

Ok - so they close officially at 6.30pm - I know that, everyone knows that - but I also have it on very good authority ( courtesy of Mr. Potato-Head) that they are not supposed to leave the premises until every car is accounted for by 7pm. That means that most of us in the know, the regular users, tell them if we are staying overnight so they don't have to wait for us. I'm very strict about this because I know how easily my watch, phone, computer, local church clock etc can lose accurate time from the force of my own magnetism alone. I'd hate the thought of them sitting there while I'm merrily knocking back the first G&T of the night just to re-engage my tonsils into soft, sultry speak.

I saw the Attendant getting into his car as I started to ascend the stairs - I have accepted that I cannot expect the lifts still to be operational when I fail to make the gates by the appointed time. I ran to the top of the stairs, complete with over £60 worth of toiletries and cosmetics swinging in a Boots carrier bag, dashed across the asphalt and dived into my car, tore down the ramps and came to a screeching halt at the bottom to find them locked , lights out. Ta Ra!!!

My phone chose that exact moment to lose all charge and tell me just as it was doing so that I had no credit left. The gates re-open at 7am!!! The exact time that I should be waving my son and his leopard-skin-thong-encased gonads farewell on their Dublin tour. I would like to think that I didn't panic. Swore a bit perhaps. Contemplated climbing over the fence. That would have landed me in hospital at best, police custody with one of my former colleagues to bail me out at worst.

My Saviour came in the form of Steve, The Most Charitable, Charming and Thoroughly Decent Young Man I have had the fortitude and sheer bloody luck to encounter in all my long days. Not only did he lend me his phone ( my miserable fossil of a specimen slowly solidifying into a rock in my handbag) to call the cops but also to ring the Car Park Manager as soon as he spotted an out-of-hours number which was inconveniently positioned outside the gate.

I was free within 20 minutes and managed to collect my son and his newly-acquired Tour Kit - v smart - pop into Tesco and get home to oversee the bag pack ready for tomorrow.

Tomorrow I head for Dublin. I managed to persuade the Court Clerk ( ahem, Senior Legal Advisor to the Magistrates) to adjourn the hearing and excuse the attendance of both Stephen & I on the grounds that he has not yet secured a job and might miss crucial interviews whilst travelling over here. I didn't mention that it gave me time to pack, co-ordinate make-up and outfits and shave my legs.

Sooooooooooo! I'm meeting Throbbie!!!!!!!!!! Hoorah! Hooray! Oh Heck! Why did I not stop eating when I had the chance?


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