Monday, March 28, 2005

Another Bank Holiday Monday and I find myself washing my kitchen floor - out of choice!!! Have I gone mad? I could have spent the day with at least half a dozen seperate eligible young men, I could have called on some old friends, I could have visited my Dad and taken his long-overdue birthday present, I could have gone for a run, walked the dogs or driven to the coast to search for fossils.

Instead I'm on my knees happily scrubbing, the smell of slow-cooked lamb wafting from the oven, Bold 2-in-1 Lavender & Camomile wash powder from the other direction where the 6th load of the day is gently spinning, and fresh water in the vase which still holds the remains of the roses I received from my anonymous admirer. I am even contemplating ironing this evening and not balking at the thought.

Why am I so happy at this ordinarily anaphylactic-shock-inducing domestic solitude? I'm not entirely sure and there is a very small part of me which is genuinely fearful that I have actually lost my mind and have really spent the Easter weekend strapped to a hospital trolley receiving regular bursts of electric volts to my brain which is reacting by playing these strange hallucinatory images of a wholsome life which I could have enjoyed. The horror which I experienced when I stood on my bathroom scales and watched the pointer whizz almost to the end of the counters was certainly enough to tip me over the edge. Did I just imagine that Jack came into the room in the nick of time and informed me that they were definitely broken and insisted on leading me to my mother's scales which thankfully told a much leaner story altogether.

I suspect it has far more to do with the fact that I do genuinely have options this time, yet I have chosen to stay alone in my house, not spending any money, not wasting any petrol, not risking a puncture ( I still haven't got round to fixing my spare so I am aware that I'm risking complete breakdown everytime I drive up the street), and more importantly not touching a single piece of chocolate from the European Easter Egg mountain which has taken over one corner of my dining table. Way to go for Willpower!!

I love new experiences of all kinds and this is certainly one I haven't tried before. I'm hoping I can keep it up til Friday and lose at least 2 stone in the process. Perhaps not the most achievable expectation I've ever placed upon myself but then I can't manage willpower and give myself a break at the same time. And just by stepping off my scales and onto my mother's I already lost 18lbs today so who knows what might happen.


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