Saturday, April 24, 2004

Life has returned pretty much back to normal after my Easter Cyber-Fest! Thank goodness! I was in very serious danger of turning into a geek.

I was so pleased to pick CM up the following day - he'd not had the best exchange, he'd much preferred Japan the previous year, but he'd already decided he'd be going back next year - just not to the same family. He'd tried to buy me some Chanel perfume, my favourite - bless! - but it was too expensive so I got a Sausage and a bottle of wine. I was quite touched with that - he knows my tastes. Grandma got a bottle of wine too and Grandad got a packet of Fisherman's Friends!

The house was back to normal in minutes - trainers littered everywhere, clouds of Lynx hovering in the air, cupboards raided - and more importantly, no room for me at the computer, which was merrily pinging away as he quickly got in touch with his friends, no doubt swapping stories of holiday exploits that wouldn't get passed a parental rating - accompanied by a soundtrack of Gangster Rap! Peace, tranquility shattered - bliss!

It was good to get back to work after the long bank holiday weekend too. I used to love bank holidays when I was in a relationship but they're not so great when you are single, no-one to play with! In fact, I think I probably only really want a boyfriend for bank holidays - the rest of the time I'm quite happy to get to choose what I watch, what I wear, what I eat, which side of the bed to sleep on! I wonder whether anyone would respond if I put that on my dating site - WLTM tall, dark handsome, intelligent rugby player for Whit and May Day initially - could lead to Christmas!

Talking of high days and holidays - today is my Birthday! I've not really enjoyed my birthday over the last few years - the rot started on my 30th! I always thought I'd be solvent and stable by then but I was not even close! I felt like that was it! Life over! No chance of finding love now, not now everything has started heading south - just my pension to look forward to and the hope that there might be a nice-looking orderly in my Nursing Home to change my incontinence pads! Last year was even worse - my Mum had booked a table for me and CM at my friend's new restaurant. How sad was that! Going for a candle-lit meal with your 12 year old! It actually turned out to be ok - typical type of date really - he insisted I choose the cheapest thing on the Menu, suggested we just had the one course, had 2 drinks (of Coke) for every one of mine, and wanted to go home to watch the football as soon as we'd eaten!

I feel a bit more positive this year - don't know if it's cos it's a beautiful sunny day and I don't have to go to work - or if it's an indication that my mood is improving generally. I'm even going out tonight - in public with grown-ups and everything!! I normally get loads of cards but I wasn't expecting many this year - new job, no-one knows me properly yet and my former colleagues won't be bothered now that I won't be buying them cakes for the staffroom anymore. I didn't get as many but I've been really touched by those that have remembered! My proper friends! One of my old secretaries even called round an hour ago with a bottle of wine and a card! I'm surprised she's still talking to me after I didn't take her with me to my new job - then again I'm surprised that the one I did take is still talking to me after sharing a room with me for the first 6 weeks! You always take it out on the people closest to you!!

And I got some fab presents - a DVD player!! How big is that?!! I wasn't expecting to be that spoilt. My video broke ages ago and I've been thinking of getting CM one for Christmas for a couple of years. It came with "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" (loved the book - saw the film set when I was holidaying in Cephalonia a few years ago) and "Love actually! - I think I must be the only person who hasn't seen it! I'll look forward to that tomorrow night! Accompanied by the wine and the last of my solitary Easter Egg! And I got some CDs - Bay City Rollers Greatest Hits and Jamie Cullum! CM's going to hate car journeys to rugby training over the next few months!

And I've been getting lovely text messages from a chap I've been talking to on here - he even rang me earlier to say a brief hello - he's staying with family in the next town for the weekend - which is ironic cos I'm about to set off to stay with a friend who lives just round the corner from him in West Yorkshire. He wants to meet me - he's been wanting to for a few weeks but I still haven't plucked up the courage. It's not that I'm that afraid anymore - I was! I convinced myself he was a stalker and I was kicking myself for having revealed so many personal details - I didn't dare leave the office at lunchtime in case he was watching me from a bar or shop, following me, clocking me buying my Shapers lunch! Fortunately my imagination, and ego, turned out to be rather larger than his desire to boil my bunny!

I quite enjoy the attention and excitement, if we meet that might disappear! He'll realise my hour-glass figure is more an hour-and-half and that I inherited Grandma's chin! And he might have awful slip-on shoes, and wear white socks! I'd hate him to see any disappointment register momentarily across my face. What could be even worse than that, would be if we actually got on - that might lead to something else - ultimately sex! Think I'd prefer to clock up a few more visits to the Cheese Nazi's scales before I run the risk of letting another man near my jiggly bits!

Any way, it's too late now - got to head for Leeds! Want to arrive early enough to have a glass of bubbly while I open the fabulous small beautifully packaged gift that Eva is bound to have bought me! She has impeccable taste and the luxury of being able to shop in the Victoria Quarter - the frozen food shops, poundstores and Gregg's on my local high street don't quite have the same appeal! Not sure exactly what we are going to be doing tonight! I've fought bitterly to stay in for the last couple of years every time I've gone over to Leeds but tonight I fancy painting the town red! We will eat somewhere - we tried to book a table at Anthony's, the newest hippest eatery to open - chef from El Bulli, the Spanish El Dorado which we both read about and aspire to - but it was full. Eva always persuades me to be a bit more extravagant than I might otherwise be - and I must confess that it doesn't take much doing! I can't help it - I'm a Taurean! I'm supposed to have a large appetite for all things fabulous, decadent, rich and exotic!

Might end up at a hip happening club later - fancy throwing a few shapes about the dance floor, may even meet a handsome, younger foreign Adonis who I can snog to my heart's content, inhibitions anaesthetised by the champers, safe in the knowledge that I'll never have to see him again! Leeds is very good for that sort of thing - or at least it was the last time I allowed myself to be dragged out, kicking and screaming! We've had some cracking evenings, and very early mornings being flung about a club or later Eva's lounge, by nimble nifty Italian waiters - they can all dance so well and enjoy the petting but understand "no", being good Catholic boys who wouldn't want anyone to disrespect their sisters.

Whatever, I'm quite liking being 33 so far!


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